First, and most importantly, American women want to be respected. Never forget this. Women in the US have fought long and hard for equality and they take it very seriously. They work hard, they own businesses, they make their own decisions and, in general, they will not tolerate a man who thinks he is better than they are.

American women sometimes seem to want it ‘both ways’, meaning that they want their dates to be progressive and traditional at the same time. For example, an American woman might become very angry if you order for her at a restaurant. To her, it means that you are controlling her. Yet, at the same time, she still might expect you to open the door for her or pull out her chair for her before she sits. Yes, it’s difficult to know how to act when dating women in the US. Many American guys have problems too. The best thing is just to remember the women in the US demand to be treated as equals but still enjoy some of the romantic gestures from the past. Good luck.

There are ways to control or even change the behavior of your child, but there’s one way that is sure to fail – retelling your child not to do something. After that sinks in, you need to think back and calculate how many times in the past month you have said to your child, perhaps with your voice raised: “Don’t do that”.

You have certainly noticed that young children especially seem hell-bent on doing exactly what you have just – perhaps forcibly – told them not to do. The child s not being perverse, and is not trying to annoy you – though has undoubtedly succeeded in doing so. It’s just that the human brain is not geared to handle the word ‘not’. So although you have said do not do that, the child’s brain processes that as ‘do that’. So s/he dares, and gets very confused when you get angry, and sometime resorts to blows.

Actually, you have probably experienced this for yourself in your own adult life. Can you remember telling yourself to be careful not to do something – then doing it! It may be something straightforward like not spilling coffee from a cup you have overfilled – then spilling it. It may be a situation relating to your child, where you tell yourself before taking them to task over something, not to raise your voice or lose your temper. Then – hold and behold – you shout and lose your temper…

The same may well happen at work too. You remind yourself you must not forget to do something, and then you completely and utterly forget.

A very interesting recent book was written about this called Performance Intelligence. You can read about it on our companion blog newbizideas4u.com. The main author, who by profession is a sports psychologist, notes that there is a significant difference between playing to win and playing not to lose, which can apply to a golf ball as well as a sporting meet.

Since you have been married, you may be wondering what on earth the fairy story writers were talking about!

How many people do you know – including yourselves – who live happily ever after?

But let’s not be cynical. One of the reasons we get married is to have children, right? But even that does not necessarily lead to living happily ever after, does it? In fact, it is likely that if you are a ‘normal parent’ living a ‘normal life’ – mortgage, medical bills, school fees, having to deliver and collect children from school, tuition classes, sports etc, etc, – and trying to hold down a job – overtime, home late, missing birthday parties, etc etc – you may begin to wonder whether it is all worth it. Problems with time, problems with money, sex life not being like it was… … You know the feeling I am sure.

It has always seemed strange to me that we don’t really prepare ourselves properly to get married, and we certainly don’t get properly prepared for becoming a parent, which is not an easy role.

In fact part of the problem is that it is not a role. It is in fact four roles, each of which needs to be performed effectively if you are to be a good parent and produce and develop good kids.

Four roles?? No wonder it’s tough being a parent!!

What are they?

First you have to be an educator. Hang on, you say, education is the school’s job. Yes and no. The three R’s = reading, ‘riting and ‘rithmetic may be the school’s job, but the education of your children is much too important to be left to teachers.

Then you have to be an authority. Now that’s an easier role you may think. That’s what canes were invented for!  Again, yes and no. They can be useful sometimes, but that’s not really all that authority is about.

Then you have to be a counsellor. You can’t counsel with a cane. Counselling is a communication skill, not a contact sport. And communication involves listening as well as talking, and it rarely includes ordering. It also involves time, and heaven knows, you’ve already got too little of that!

And finally, you need to be a guide. Although kids, as they grow older, claim they know what they are doing and where they are going, they don’t really. And you will be well aware that in a number of cases, what they want to do, and where they want to go is not exactly what you would like them to do and where you would like them to go.

If any of the above rings bells for you, then keep checked in to this blog. Over the next little while, we shall explore each of these roles in more depth.

Don’t automatically give her more. Resist the temptation to keep feeding her until she refuses to take any more. Remind yourself that she doesn’t have to be “full” all the time.

There is a difference between having enough to eat and being full. She doesn’t have to be so stuffed she cannot swallow another drop.

Encourage breaks during mealtimes. Your baby should not gulp down the entire contents of the bottle in one go without a break. Make sure she pauses every so often. The same applies to your hungry one-year-old.

Avoid using food as a comforter. Try not to give your baby food or sweets whenever she cries.

The chances are that she is not crying from hunger. If you feed her every time she cries, she’ll soon cry just for the sake of getting more.

Instead of reaching for that extra bottle of milk during the night, give her a drink of water. She might only be thirsty, not hungry.

Erika recommends reading to baby regularly, twice a day, every day. Start with a short span of five to six minutes for each reading session and as your baby’s attention span increases, lengthen the reading time.

HOW TO READ

Read slowly and deliberately. Remember you are reading to your baby, not to yourself!

Make appropriate pauses, giving time for baby to look at the pictures.

Repeat key words; point out and elaborate on details, e.g., “This is a cat – a cat says. “meow” or “look at the spider – it is black and has eight legs.” Vary your volume and pace of reading according to the storyline, eg, a louder volume and faster pace for exciting lines in the story.

Talk about what is happening in the story, what happened earlier and what might happen next. These are important concepts for sequencing events and will help your child understand the concept of the beginning, middle and end of a story – prediction is a valuable comprehension skill. Try to make connections between the story you are reading and the world around your baby.

How you can reduce your dog’s separation anxiety?

If someone can come in to your home as a surrogate mummy or daddy for a short period, the dog will not be psychologically harmed. No one can replace you as your dog’s best friend, but getting someone in to keep it company in your absence will provide a significant amount of relief.

Dogs are emotional and social beings, and spending quality time to know them is one of the most important aspects of our job. Like ripping off a bandage, the best way to say goodbye to your faithful friend is to make it quick. Dogs, like humans, can sense when something is up. If you start acting out of the ordinary, your guilt will smell stronger than hefty spirits of aftershave.

Your dog will be acutely aware when you are planning a trip, there may be no way to hide from your pet when you are packing your suitcase, as they are likely to be by your side or even sitting on top of it!

We advise that you pack a few days in advance and then leave the case behind closed doors. When the day of departure arrives, whip the case straight out of the door, give them a hug and say goodbye quickly. This will be far less stressful for them.

Now that you can rest assured that Rover will survive, you are free to book that flight, wave a fond farewell to your fluffy friend, and take to the skies.

Look for language in her physical movements. Your baby tells you she has a tummy ache by drawing her knees tightly up to her stomach. You can tell she is relaxed when she lies flat on her back, gazing wide-eyed at the musical mobile.

Facial expressions are her way of communicating emotions. Psychologists have identified seven basic facial expressions that adults are capable of generating- unhappiness, joy, surprise, interest, disgust, terror and rage. Your baby too has enough control over her facial muscles to create all of these facial expressions herself.

CRIES

And then there is crying. During this first year, you quickly learn that your baby has different cries to express her different moods and sensations. You will develop an ability to tell one cry from another. It’s amazing how much she can tell you without uttering a word!

Here are some of her typical cries:

“IT’S FEEDING TIME“

This is one of those cries that starts off reasonably quiet, and then gets louder and louder. There are occasional pauses for a few seconds, as she swallows great gulps of air, but the crying is relentless.

“IT’S CHANGING TIME”

She doesn’t like to lie in a dirty nappy, and she wriggles her body about. Her crying is not so sharp because her distress is not so great. She may stop her tears occasionally, but will keep crying until she is changed into a dry one.

“IT’S PLAY TIME”

Your baby can amuse herself to some extent but she needs you to play, tall and interact with her. When bored, she uses crying almost like a shout – it is just to attract your attention.

Three months and over, eye-movements also become part of her body language repertoire. You know exactly what she means when she stares at the biscuit tin, babbles angrily and starts to cry. And when she bangs a toy loudly against the side of her cot, her furrowed expression lets you know she is angry. So make sure that you shop for toys that are durable.

SHE’s NEARLY ONE

By the time she’s one, these are some of the feelings she expresses:

REJECTION

Her hands push the food bowl away. She turns her face away as you raise the spoon to her lips. She’s telling you “I don’t like this and I want something else.”

CURIOSITY

You hear strange noises coming from her cot, and when you get there she’s straining to get hold of something that is just outside her reach.

ILL HEALTH

Lethargic body movements communicate as much as active gestures. If you’re infant is normally very active all the time and full of enthusiasm during her waking hours, then any listlessness should tell you she is feeling unwell.

Your baby’s ability to express her underlying feelings non-verbally creates a strong relationship with you. The more she feels you understand her, the stronger her emotional attachment to you.

Your new baby will also alter your social life. “I hardly go out with my friends anymore, because I have to express my milk every three to four hours daily. Even when I do, I’m often too tired to enjoy the night out. A simple trip to the shops gets tiring when I have to bring along tons of my pumping equipment,” shares Bonny.

And even if you do venture out, your expeditions would most likely be limited to baby-friendly shopping centers with nursing rooms. Karen, 26, a mother of a eight-month-old baby, who even had to change her circle of friends as not everyone fou venues, such as nd “poo” comparisons and diaper brand debates stimulating.

Your life would now literally revolve around your child. Some mothers have found that they even have to cut back on their “me time” for manicures, facials and other little luxuries. “There’s no more sleeping in on weekends, and we no longer take any spontaneous holidays,” according to Karen.

However, it is important to set limits and put aside time for pampering yourself, or even just to get basic sleep and recreation. “The family should offer support, and encourage the new mother to take some personal time off,” advises doctor.

Reality Checking Your Marriage

And Baby does make three, permanently! Be careful riot to become indifferent towards your role as a wife as you pay more attention towards your new duties as a mother. “Asians often have newborns sleeping in the parents’ bed, sometimes even for years! As such, husbands begin to feel neglected,” warns by some doctor, who advises couples to discuss their changing roles and division of responsibilities.

On the other hand, for some mums like Karen, the baby can also create a stronger bond between the wife and husband. “We have more things to talk about, and more decisions to make together. Having a baby increased our sense of inter-dependence and brought us closer together.”

Carry baby in four ways! Newborns can be carried while they lie down as the stiff pouch provides all the necessary support. When baby is older and able to support her neck, carry her facing you or facing front. Toddlers can be carried on your back like a backpack. The side buckles are very secure as they require a (simple) two- step procedure to lock in place. The beige straps are made of a soft cotton material which are soft against the skin but expect them to dirty pretty fast. The biggest drawback is that the instructions are in Japanese so unless you know the language, you’ll be fumbling and making guesswork out of the illustrations.

Ergo Baby Carrier

A breeze to put on with minimal buckling and tugging at straps. Can be worn in front, back and hip position (baby sitting on your hips). A padded seat you secure around your waist supports the baby’s weight through the upper thigh rather than weighing down the spine. as baby is in a seated position. It takes a maximum weight of 18kg so it can accommodate the child from birth through toddler-hood. A sleeping hood keeps the child’s head from flopping about when in slumber.

Jeep 2-in-1 Baby Carrier

This well-padded carrier can take a baby from 3.5 to 11.5kg, in a forward or back- facing position. For infants, you need to make the crotch area shallower. This is done through a zip that comes in two settings. The front of the carrier has reflective strips making it extra safe when you are out at night. A nice touch is the ventilation flap. For more air circulation, unzip the flap and roll-up the portion covering baby’s tummy to reveal a breezy mesh cut-out.

Baby Bjorn Baby Carrier Air

This version of the wildly popular Baby Bjorn is made from a mesh material that dissipates heat and moisture better. You can’t go wrong buckling up as the left and right side of the buckles and latches are color coded (match red to red, blue to blue). A sliding buckle at the crotch area allows you to fit the carrier to baby’s height for a comfortable and safe ride. It takes a baby from 53cm to 90cm in height and 3.5kg to 11kg in weight. Carries baby in a forward and rear facing positions.

Combi Ninna Nanna Carrier

You can carry your newborn in a prone position, upright facing forward, upright facing back and on your back. You can also choose between placing baby’s arms within the armholes or letting them free when she’s older for more mobility. The fabric on this carrier is luxuriously soft, great for baby and you! It takes a while to figure out how to use it but once you’ve got it, it should be a breeze switching from one position to another. Comes in a see-through plastic carrying case so it’s easy to pack away. Maximum weight is 14.9kg.

Mother-care 4 Way Carrier

Made of super soft cotton, this one carries your baby in a forward or rear-facing position, on the back and in a nursing position. There is a removable head support for use with newborns and comes in a hip camouflage print. Additional features: a dribble bib, toy, pacifier holder and a storage pocket. The carrier uses buckles and velcro to fasten. The latter are a little noisy to undo, especially if baby is sleeping. The breathable fabric lining prevents parent and child from becoming too warm. Maximum weight is 12kg.

What’s haunting me is the latter part of the love-hate relationship I have with nursing: leaking breasts the size of watermelons; feeling like I belong on a meadow among the cows; constantly smelling of breast milk; horrible cotton pads stuffed into bras that look like something from Grandma’s underwear drawer; and being the only one who can feed the baby in the middle of the night.

With these memories comes shame. After all, shouldn’t I have moved beyond these mixed feelings? I want to give my third child the same start in life that the first two had — breastfed for six months — yet this time I want to really enjoy it.

If you are feeling this way during pregnancy or encountered difficulties feeding previously, it’s best to get help around 35 or 36 weeks, with enough time to plan before baby arrives. As long as we know a mother’s history, we can talk through her concerns and work out a plan.

For my next baby, I suggest one bottle of expressed milk daily once lactation is established (usually at six weeks). Allowing my family to help with feeding will give me a break. The key to having the baby taking swell to both breast and bottle is being consistent.

If you stop for a week, the baby is likely to revert to just the breast and you could miss your window of opportunity. Being a lactation consultant and midwife makes me a natural breastfeeding activist.

What if I choose not to breastfeed?

We want the mother to breastfeed, but if she is unable or doesn’t want to, then we will support her in her choice. Pony’s response is very much in line with the center’s ethos — support to all mothers, regardless of whether or not they breastfeed.

Still a few months from birth, I am already feeling more relaxed about breastfeeding. I know that however wonderful and beneficial nursing my child is, it’s not a barometer of how much I love him or her.

The first shocking realization comes when new mothers realize that they still look six months pregnant after being wheeled out of the delivery room! I remained quite plump for the first two months, and only started to regain my figure in the seventh month.

According to doctor research explains that the amount a mother loses immediately after delivery would depend on the weight of the baby (usually 3 to 3.2kg), placenta (1/7th of the baby’s weight) and amniotic fluid (1 to 1.54); on average, 7kg in all.

“How long she takes to lose all the weight from pregnancy will depend on how much she has gained. So, don’t put on too much weight; 10 to 12kg is just perfect,” says doctor, who recommends total breastfeeding, dieting and exercise after the first six weeks of birth as good ways to regain your svelte pre-birth figure.

Reality Checking Your Emotions

If you are a first-time mum, don’t be surprised if you feel “sad” when bringing your baby home. “Baby blues” is a common syndrome that affects 50 to 70 per cent of postnatal women.

“It usually lasts a few days, in which new mothers experience spells of irritability and gloominess, as well as episodes of crying. More commonly, this afflicts first-time mothers and those who previously had significant premenstrual fluctuations of mood associated with PMS. This is attributed to hormonal changes after delivery,” says doctor.

Some mother even found herself “weepy” during the first month. They worried constantly if their baby was drinking sufficiently or sleeping well, and also felt especially useless when they could not breastfeed their son directly.

Doctor explains that the hormonal changes, coupled with the need to cope with a newborn baby, problems with breastfeeding, and a change in lifestyle, can be very challenging to any new mother, especially if she does not have any support.

“The clash in ideas on how to bring up the baby, the husband going to work, a crying child, and simple issues such as whether to use the supplements that are encouraged by some confinement ladies and grandmothers – all add to the depression,” says doctor, who advises new mothers to read, attend antenatal classes, and seek support from breastfeeding advisers or other mothers from the same generation. However, she cautions that “nothing really prepares you for the real thing”.

Feet Fetish

Men’s Santa Cruz & Dekum
For the dad who loves chic, comfortable shoes, then Crocs Style, the all-new high fashion
footwear line, would be most ideal. And what’s more, it is made from the same Croslitetm material.

Seriously Stylish

Men’s Star Chronograph,

Surprise him with a whimsically but elegant and high fashion gift from Shanghai Tang…An exquisite timepiece that adds a touch of exclusivity and intricacy to an otherwise lackluster item. The strap of the Men’s Star Chronograph is 100 percent leather and comes in both red and black. A definite must-have!!

Modern Mature Man

D & G Aviator,

Drop-shape, 1970s-style model features a thin, elegant double bridge that makes it particularly current. The front frame is made entirely of metal while the arms are injection-molded acetate, an extremely lightweight and comfortable material. This model is available in black, Havana, beige, white and purple. The lenses are polycarbonate and in the gradient versions, brown and smoke, they are APX.

Vibrantly Versatile

Blackberry Storm

This is the perfect gift for dad who wants to stay connected at all times. Watch your icons dance across the screen under your fingertips. Ignite your senses with the BlackBerry Storm — a revolutionary Smartphone that features the world’s first “clickable” touch screen display, designed for accurate typing and fast navigation. An ideal status symbol for the style- conscious consumer, the BlackBerry Storm will make a great impression as you travel across town or to almost any corner of the world.

Fashionably Forward

Jesse James Dopp Kit

Kiehl’s will be launching a limited edition kit in June’09, specially designed by JESSE JAMES, a famous motorcycle builder from Long Beach, CA. James designed a men’s dopp kit for Kiehl’s filled with a selection of his favorites, including the Facial Fuel moisturizer, White Eagle Shave Cream, Ultimate Man Scrub Soap, Facial Fuel Face

Wash, Ult Strength Hand Salve deluxe.

“So cliché, you obviously read too many magazines!” scoffed my bemused hubby.

“Well, do you have any better suggestions then,  Mr Computer Nerd?” I challenged him haughtily.

“I’m glad you asked, because as a matter of fact, I do have some ideas that I would like to run by you,” said my husband rather enthusiastically.

The Fantasy Feeling.

I remember feeling a slight twinge of apprehension at this point, and knowing his fascination with anime, I guess I could more or less tell what was coming. What I didn’t know however, was just how elaborate Chris’s fantasy really was.

I suppose you could say that you can’t knock down an idea until you’ve completely heard it out. Trying my utmost to suppress my giggles, I listened to my husband’s plan to dress up as characters in one of his favorite animation series and re-enact a scene whereby I would be “saved” by his heroic character. Like a slick executive trying to pitch his idea, my husband told me his little plan to go somewhere deserted and outdoors to get it on. I must say, incredulous as I was at the sheer audacity of his suggestion, I did feel a slight tremor of excitement as it sounded forbidden, unconventional and pretty sexy and hot.

After much wheedling (yes, grown men do that too!), I finally decided to give it a try late on Saturday night. From what I can recall, I was trudging into a forested area wearing nothing but a strange, skimpy costume and mumbling to my husband, “Oh why can’t you just have that school teacher fantasy like all other guys?”

Finally, we managed to find a small clearing that we deemed secluded enough so that we would not be caught in the act. With my arms tied around the trunk of a nearby tree, we thus began to re-enact the scene whereby my husband’s superhero character would have to come rescue me.

I must say that I felt rather vulnerable standing there in a public space wearing close to nothing, and it was quite a turn on. My heart was pounding wildly against my chest and I began breathing heavily as my husband undid the piece of cloth binding my hands together. After he struggled with the rope for a while, things started getting hot and heavy. Knowing that we might get caught at any minute provided us with that adrenaline rush of excitement that we had never experienced before. Finally, when the deed was done, we quickly dressed and made our way to our car parked nearby, faces flushed with exhilaration and embarrassment.

The End…?

Thrilling as it was, my husband and I decided to limit our role-playing activities to the confines of our bedroom, as what we just did was dangerous, not to mention illegal. Nonetheless, that one time was enough to re-ignite the sparks in our feelings of passion towards one another and things have not been the same since then!

If you can’t imagine good, clean pole dancing, picture a gymnast on the balance beam, then take away the beam and replace it with a vertical pole. There you have it!

In our kids’ pole dancing class, we focus on teaching the tricks and the technique and since it can get quite technical, we try to incorporate dance moves into the program as well, it is a more holistic approach this way.

Start Kit

Any child, even as young as four years, can have a go at pole dancing. Parents who are afraid to commit their child to a dance that is not exactly main stream can take advantage of the trial sessions offered by some professional dancer held four times a year during the term breaks. But, honestly, which child wouldn’t like hanging from and spinning around a pole?

Don’t worry if your child does not have the prerequisites because there are none. No background in dance is required, nor upper body strength as commonly believed. This is built over time. Some dancing class will divide into two groups— the four- to six-year-olds and the seven- to 12-year-olds. Parents are expected to accompany the younger children (yes, parents get to do it too!), but this is not necessary for the older kids.

Difficulty

It is not really difficult because the kids are taught tricks according to their capability. That is why they are divided according to their age groups; their development, capabilities and attention spans differ. That also explains why classes for the younger kids are 45 minutes each while those for the older kids are at an hour each.

In the case of pole dancing, there are only two levels — beginner and intermediate — but that is because the program is still relatively new. Each year comprises four terms and each term, nine weeks. Terms 1 and 3 are performance terms where the focus is on showcasing what the kids have learn in the last nine weeks, while terms 2 and 4 are technique terms that end with assessments.

Benefits

As a form of exercise, pole dancing is great for strength and muscle building. It tones every part of the body, keeping it strong and lithe. It does not build bulk because you are using just the right muscles.

As a dance or art form, pole dancing helps develop flexibility, balance, agility and grace.

The showcases at the end of the performance terms will give every child an opportunity to demonstrate what he has learn and to be part of a combined effort. Of course, some kids might be shy and may refuse to participate but every child is encouraged to take part because the experience is priceless. Not only will he learn about teamwork and cooperation, but also the sense of pride and achievement he derives from having been a part of a successful show can do wonders to his confidence and self-esteem.

Donny, on the other hand, had something else in mind. Despite his apparently happy family life, he divorced his wife at the end of their first year in Australia. He claimed to have found “the love of his life.”

Stephanie, a former office clerk who gave up her career to support her husband’s work, simply couldn’t believe her ears. “I thought we had a great marriage. He had just recently mentioned that we should go to the Maldives for our tenth anniversary. We were best friends,” she says. Stephanie and Donny were together for fifteen years and were married for over nine of those.

Donny left home the same evening after breaking the news, and Stephanie watched her two children, aged ten and seven, crying in despair. For the first few weeks, she denied the situation, thinking that he was just having “a hard time at work” and that he would return.

A month on and forced to deal with the practicalities of family life on her own, Stephanie found herself relying greatly on her new friends.

“When we live abroad without family and relatives close by, good friends become our real family and baby. I couldn’t have coped without their advice and support, even for things like finding a lawyer. My helper has been like a mother. She has been looking after me and my children with so much care.” So far, Stephanie doesn’t know what the future holds financially for her and the children as she and John have not yet agreed on where the family should live.

“It is difficult for me even to Google ‘divorce’ on the web,” she acids. “I didn’t come to Australia to get divorced.” Stephanie is still coming to terms with her new circumstances. She remembers that she had contingency plans for her husband losing his job, their parents dying or someone falling sick. “But never thought that he would ever leave.”

On a positive note, she says that her children are the most important things in her life and that her happiness comes from within.

Experts believe that children on an average get three times more sun exposure than adults and studies have proven that just one or two sun burns in childhood can double the chances of developing a malignant melanoma. Develop sun sense in your child today and enjoy your day in sheer bliss! So, hope your enjoy your day or family outdoor activities under our lovely sun.

Spontaneity:

Variety stimulates the pleasure centers of the brain, maintaining the climate of romance, writes Professional Advisor.

So steer clear of routine. Full your husband‘s need for spontaneous, and unscheduled, sex by making love in the morning, instead of bedtime. Danger (of being late for work, for instance!) and novelty are two passion triggers that can be tripped very pleasantly by an unexpected roll in the hay.

Visual Stimulation (pretty things):

Men like to look according to Dr. Fisher, with most psychologists agreeing that for men, the visual image triggers romantic passion.

Don’t neglect your physical appearance, and use your looks to your advantage. “I always wear nice lingerie under my business suits,” shares Amanda, 30, “and make sure my husband sees. He loves it!”

Other visual treats would involve making love with the lights on; or in soft candlelight, which will give you a very flattering – and sexy glow.

Letting him take the lead:

Based on a study done by Dartmouth University, women who look men in the eye are perceived as sexier and more attractive. “When someone looks at us,” says study author Malia Mason, “it’s physiologically arousing.”

Try gazing at him over the dinner table…and once you’ve snagged his attention, rev him up even inure by telling him what you’d like to do next.

Learning What Please Him:

This is actually very important to men, who tend to be goal- oriented when it comes to sex. Lou Paget writes, “Granted, most men find the act of pleasuring his partner a huge turn-on.”

So tell him what pleases you, and what doesn’t. Being verbal about what feels good gets the message across in a way that thrills both you, and your partner.

To minimize back pains, here are some simple things to do:

1. Cut down on your physical activities, especially those that stress the lower back and pelvis, like climbing stairs, walking long distances and standing for long periods.
2. Sleeping with your face up puts a lot of pressure on your back. Lying on your side with a pillow between your knees would reduce the pressure. If you are used to sleeping on your back, placing a pillow under your knees can cut the pressure by half.
3. Another small pillow under the lower back will also help.
4. Control your diet to avoid excessive weight gain, which will make the strain worse.
5. Strengthen your back muscles through exercise or yoga.

The seven yoga poses below are good for strengthening the lower back, and increasing lung capacity and elasticity for easy delivery. Do them once or twice a week if you are in your third to eighth month of pregnancy. Some Yoga instructor even advice that pregnancy female handles prenatal classes at Yoga. They describe the poses:

1. Breathing.

Sit cross-legged on the floor in a meditative pose. Keep the back straight and rest hands, palms facing up, on the knees. Close your eyes.

Place the right thumb over the right nostril to close it and inhale slowly through the left nostril. Close the left nostril with the ring finger on the right hand and release the thumb that was over the right nostril. Exhale through the right nostril. Then, inhale through the right nostril and close it with the right thumb. Open the left nostril and exhale through the left. This is one set. Do five sets.

The timing of the breathing is important. Maintain a ratio of 1:2. That means, if you are inhaling for five seconds, exhale for 10 seconds.

2. Cat Pose.

Get down on hands and knees, tucking toes in. Spread the knees and feet slightly and stretch out your toes. Exhale while pushing the lower back upwards and tucking the head down. Inhale with the head looking upwards and lower back pushed downwards. Do this five times.

3. Cat Pose Balancing.

In the same hands and knees position, raise your right hand and left leg, keeping them in a straight line with the back and shoulders. Repeat with the left hand and right leg. Do three sets.

4. Bridge Pose

Lie on your back and bend the knees. Place your feet as close as possible to your bottom, feet apart.

Slowly lift the hips and lower back up with the support of your hands – your thumb supporting your back, your fingers over your sides. Hold the pose for seven seconds then slowly return to the starting position. Do three sets.

5. Spinal Leg Raises

Lie on your back with feet together and knees bent. Rest arms, palms facing up, on the floor at shoulder level.

Slowly drop both knees to the right while turning your head to look to the left. Repeat on the opposite side. Do three sets.

6. Single Leg Raises.

Lie on your back with legs together and rest hands by the thighs, palms down. Bend the left leg till the left foot is beside the right knee. Slowly raise the right leg to about 30 degrees and hold for five seconds. Rise further to 60 degrees and hold for five seconds. Increase to 90 degrees and hold for five seconds. Return the leg slowly to starting position. Repeat with the left leg. Do three sets.

7. Tree Pose

While standing, slowly bend one knee and slide the foot of that leg up to rest on the front of the thigh of the other leg.

Maintaining balance, slowly raise both hands up and place the palms together above the head. Keep eyes focused on something in front of you to help in balancing. Hold the position for 15 seconds.

8. Modified Cobra Pose.

Stand with feet together, in front of a chair. Hold the back of the chair for support. Slowly raise your chin up and drop your head backwards. Bend your back backwards and hold for five to seven seconds, then return to the starting position. Do this three times.

But finding the balance between too little, too much, and just the right amount can be difficult. Under-stimulation of your baby eventually causes him to be passive and lethargic — lack of toys, games, attention from parents, songs and other play activities has this effect. He quickly adjusts to the status of inactivity. And when he does receive stimulation, he doesn’t know how to react.

Over-stimulation of your baby, however, can be just as detrimental. The chances are that if you expect too much of your baby, you will continue to expect too much of him when he is older, and he may become afraid of failure. By the time he starts school, he could dread the prospect of not being the best pupil in class. Or you might be so obsessed with his intellectual and linguistic skills that you lose sight of his emotional development.

The Best Approach

Of course you want your growing baby to be bright, lively and alert. Finding a suitable level of stimulation is a challenge for every parent.

The best way to know that you’ve got a healthy balance is to watch your baby. If he is motivated, has a sparkling facial expression and reacts positively to you when you play with him, you can be sure you’ve got his stimulation just right.

Here are some suggestions:

* PLAY WITH YOUR BABY EVERY DAY

No matter how hectic your schedule is, you should have at least five or 10 minutes to play a couple of times. More would be ideal, but this should be the minimum.

* DON’T FORCE YOURSELF TO PLAY WITH YOUR BABY

If you’ve had a long, hard day with your baby and feel too tired to play any more with him, then stop.

* ALLOW HIM FREE PLAY

He needs to have times during the day when he explores, plays and discovers by himself, without your involvement or direction. Make sure he has free-play opportunities every single day.

* WATCH THE WAY HE PLAYS WITH TOYS

If you notice that he tends to play with the same toy every single day and that his play is repetitive and lacking adventure, it’s time to get more involved in order to extend his play skills.

* JOIN IN WITHOUT DOMINATING

When stimulating your baby, remember that there is a difference between playing with him and taking over altogether. Offer new suggestions and activities but let him be the one who plays with the toys, not you.

* KEEP IT FUN

Both you and your baby should enjoy your involvement with each other. If the fun goes out of play — either for you or your baby — there may be either too little or too much stimulation.

Different Worlds

Despite vastly different interests, Chris and I do in fact share plenty of common passions, such as sport, art, traveling and a wicked sense of humor. We get along great and he always jokes about me being the ultimate tree huger, whilst I often tease him about fantasizing over the grotesquely large bosomed, endless ‘chopstick legged’ animated female characters. At times, my husband would jokingly suggest that I dress up like one of his sexy Japanese chic idols, but I promptly dismiss it as idle banter.

We had already been married for almost three years, and although still very much in love, I would be lying if I said that things in the bedroom were as passionate or fiery as on our honeymoon in Paris. Sex was starting to become a rather mundane affair, and we both knew the usual drill: Get home from work, have dinner, have a bath and get into bed…. In short, there was no more excitement. The feeling that we had to have each other right there and then was not really there anymore.

Because your three-month-old will probably drink every drop of milk she gets, and your one-year-old will most likely gulp down one bowl of cereal after the other without the slightest prompting. The tendency to put on weight is partly an inherited characteristic. Some babies put on more weight than others even though they eat approximately the same amount.

In many instances, obesity is simply due to over-feeding. Research also shows that adults who are fat were more likely to have been fat as babies, when compared to adults who are thin. And the habit of over-eating, which starts during babyhood, can be hard to break later on.

Happy and Healthy But Not Fat

The first step, especially in the first year, is to have a rough idea of the typical food intake for someone her age and size.

You will be able to get advice from your local baby clinic. Of course there are wide variations between babies in terms of weight and food intake, but you should have a guideline regarding her recommended intake of mills (and of solids when she has started weaning).

Weigh her regularly. Your doctor will do this anyway. Doctors know the upper and lower limits of weight gain during each stage of development, and will give you the necessary feedback.

Some adults think that a fat, chubby baby is very pretty. But she is no prettier than a slimmer baby and she is certainly no healthier. In fact, doctors can list a whole series of health problems that are associated with obesity. Your baby doesn’t need to be over-fed in order to look attractive.

Helen and their two children, aged eight and ten, had just come from another post in Asia. “I was a homemaker. I had no job and no qualifications to get one. I looked at myself and knew that I was a good mother and housewife. But I lacked confidence.”

The first year was the toughest and Helen admits she couldn’t have survived without a good friend in another country who was available at all hours on the phone to help.

“I didn’t know anybody in NZ. I feared for my future and how to raise the children on my oven. How do you start your career in your 40s?”

Helen wrote down her goals and a five-year plan. She decided to stay in New Zealand to give her children the best possible education. Then she enrolled in courses on computer skills and management, and now she is finishing her master’s degree. “I wanted my children to think that I was awesome. And now, when I wake up in the morning, I feel that life is good.”

Having hit rock bottom, as she describes her divorce, Helen emphasizes that friends are essential, but that they must also be patient if their advice isn’t followed immediately. “You know what you need to do but you are no lost in your devastation that you can’t move on. It can be very frustrating for friends.” Helen observes that despite living in a community that proclaims itself modern, her children suffered a silent exclusion in social circles and schools. “We wouldn’t get invited to certain gatherings because we were a one-parent family.”

My husband and I were delighted with the present because we ourselves were avid readers who had more shelf space for books than clothes, pots and pans, and sports equipment combined. I recalled the warm memories of reading when I was little – skipping along beside my mother as she led us to the Bordland Community Library where my sister and I would spend hours sitting cross-legged on the floor, devouring books of all kinds. As I wanted John to start building similar memories, I began reading to him immediately.

Every night, since he was barely two months old, John and I sit together while I read aloud to him. At first, John would just stare quite blankly at the pages, while I chatted away. But as he got more active and aware, he began to participate in our reading “dates”, charming me by chewing on the books and helping me turn the pages. Recently, eight-month-old John has started babbling non-stop and our reading “dates” have taken on another dimension – they have become opportunities for him to pick up new sounds; for example, by hearing words like “banana”, “bicycle”, and “ball”, he is learning the “b” sound.

In addition, John sees an image of the banana hears the sounds “ba”, “na”, “no” and learns to associate those sounds with the image of a banana. Our regular reading “dates” have been educational, not just for John, but for me as well. I have become convinced that reading aloud to a child, even to a very young child like John, is an important and excellent activity that every parent should try.

The outside is made from hand printed batik (printed in Bali), which has been made waterproof and breathable and leak- free. Inside, soft fleece keeps baby’s skin dry by drawing pee into the absorbent insert placed inside the pocket of the diaper. Each insert consists of three layers of microfiber terry cloth that can absorb ^-10 times its weight in liquid. Inserts are also anti­allergenic and anti-bacterial. It can be adjusted to fit different sizes. The front panel can be folded down to reveal another row of snaps. Use this row to downsize the diaper for smaller babies.

Bummis Super Whisper Wrap

Made from a super resistant waterproof laminate sandwiched between two layers of soft polyester knit, this one’s made to last through rigorous washing. The outer fabric isn’t as soft as the others, but is slightly stretchy for a snug fit. The comfortable elasticised legs keeps the contents from leaking out. Use it over prefolds, velcroed or snap-closing diapers. Comes in four different sizes to fit babies 4kg to 18+kg.

Mommy’s Touch One Size Pocket Diaper

As it is one size fits all, you can use it to fit any children of different sizes. Two rows of snaps allow you to size the diaper to fit a newborn or a toddler. Adjust the depth of the crotch (or rise) by choosing the top or bottom row of snaps. Extender tabs are available separately to up-size the diaper even more. The outer layer is a polyurethane laminate while the inside is extremely soft micro fleece. The leg casings are elasticized and encased (there is stitching on both sides of the elastic) so that only soft micro fleece touches baby’s legs. It comes in 39 great colors from black to mint.

Bummis Cotton

Use this as a diaper cover with a folded cloth nappy inside to absorb pee and poo or as a swim diaper. To use, place an insert or pre-fold on top of the cover, then baby on top of the insert and fasten. It fastens with velcro, making it a cinch when handling a wriggly baby. The velcro loop panel on the tummy area is wide, allowing a variety of fits. The inside mesh lining increases air flow and helps to hold the diaper in place. Not recommended for night time use or heavy wetters. Can be used as a swim diaper (without any inserts). Comes in fun, cheerful prints, from small to extra large.

Fuzzi Bun

To use, place an insert (or more for longer periods like night time) into the pocket, then fasten around baby. The soft outer material acts as a moisture barrier keeping all wetness and messes inside, hence leaks are prevented. Made of polyester, it’s stain-free, so you don’t have laundry woes. The inside fleece which is in contact with baby’s skin draws moisture away from the baby’s bottom, into the insert. Comes in four sizes to fit 3kg to 16+kg babies/toddlers.

It’s a common sight at the pool and the beach…to see mothers applying sunscreen to wriggling children who are eager to play. But there is something very wrong with this picture. Sunscreen takes half an hour to get absorbed and start protecting your child’s tender skin. So make sure you apply the cream at home and especially for babies it is best to work in the sunscreen before you put on the clothes. This protects the areas where the clothes ride up from getting burnt too. Many parents apply the sunscreen once and think their child is covered unless they have been in the water. Experts, however, recommend that the sunscreen be applied every two hours and especially after each dip in the pool.

Mandy Parkson invested in SPF swimwear for her one­ year-old. “Anything I can do to guarantee he is safe is fine though this is more expensive….I’m even thinking of buying UV protected sunglasses. My family thinks I am either being too fashion conscious or too paranoid but… “She adds. A lip balm that offers a SPF protection of 15 or higher should be applied for children over six months.

For babies younger than six months the safest protection seems to be loose full clothes, a wide brim hat and protection under an umbrella or a parasol. After babies have crossed the six-month mark they can be safely protected with a sunscreen created for children. Doctors also suggest that if a child is on some medication, parents check with the doctor if that medicine could increase sensitivity to sunrays.

He even helps me with my shopping bags without a single word of complaint! Every year on Father’s day, I make it a point to celebrate with my patient husband by being his personal chauffeur for the day. Whether it is to an S-League soccer match, or making a trip to Japan for his favorite seafood, I make sure that I do the driving, so my hubby can just sit back, relax and enjoy his special day.”

Yes, if you’re one of those women who prefer to let your husbands do the bustling around, then it might be a good idea to take the wheel and give your husband the day off instead. Start asking your beloved what he wants to do the day before Father’s day and make it a point to be as accommodating and easygoing as possible, even if he just wants to relax at home and do nothing the whole day.

In a way, I guess you could say that poor Matthias experienced my labor pains together with me, with his arm suffering from some major bruises after being clenched by my vice-like grip for a few hours as I cussed like a sailor at the intense labor pains!

Although I could see that he too was grimacing in discomfort at seeing me in such pain, he never once left my side or panicked. That’s my calm, unassuming husband Chris for you,” shares mother of two, Gwen. They say that behind every successful man, a stand a loyal and supportive wife, but the fact of the matter is that it really works both ways. A strong, caring husband and wife duo can carry each other through both the hard and wonderful times.

Just like there is a special day celebrating all mothers, Father’s day honors all the men out there who have to juggle their multiple roles as fathers, disciplinarians, husbands, role-models, family chauffeurs, and sometimes even personal shoppers! It sure isn’t easy work, so why not show them your appreciation for all that they have done for the family, and perhaps even try to refrain from nagging them for leaving the toilet seat down, just for a day! Just how can you thank your beloved on his special day? We talk to some loving wives who candidly share their Father’s day experiences.

Another factor to study while buying a sunscreen lotion is the SPF written on the side of the bottle. The SPF or Sun Protection Factor is calculated by comparing the amount of time needed to produce sunburn on a protected skin to the amount of time needed to cause sunburn on unprotected skin. For e.g. a person who turns red after 10 minutes in the sun takes 20 minutes to turn red after using a sunscreen with SPF 2 and 150 minutes after applying a cream with SPF 15. Another thing to keep in mind while purchasing a sunscreen is what percentage of protection is ensured with a particular SPF. Some Doctor / Skin Expert recommend a SPF 30 screen for children as it blocks 97 per cent of UV rays but do keep in mind that a minimal SPF of 15 screens 93 per cent of UV rays.

You have chosen a sunscreen with a SPF of 30 and it is probably a mix of physical and chemical types. Now check if the label also carries the words broad spectrum and waterproof. Next, make sure your child is not allergic to the sunscreen you have selected by applying it to a small area and waiting for 24 hours for any reactions.

The Burning Facts

The first step to ensure complete protection for our children is by understanding what those beautiful sunrays bring us. Sunrays contain three types of ultra violet rays. They progress from being harmful to really dangerous for our children’s delicate skins. UVA rays while having the least energy penetrate deepest into the skin. They cause premature aging and wrinkles and while they are least associated with skin cancer, they are can cause it if received in high dosage. UVB rays are the most potent and unprotected exposure to these rays result in sunburns, cataracts and immune system damage. These rays are also said to lie behind the development of melanoma. The third kind of UV rays — UVC have the most energy but as they are blocked by the earth’s atmosphere we do not have to worry about them.

UV rays are strongest during summer and places near the equator face their brunt more than others. Another sun fact to keep in mind is how chemical pollution has affected the intensity of the sunrays that reach us. Experts believe that they are more powerful and dangerous than they were 35 years ago. Gwen, mother of two, was very careful about using sunscreen on those hot sunny days when her daughter developed sunburn on a cloudy day Gwen was horrified. Now wiser she shares with us, “Clouds do not block those UV rays. Sunscreen is a necessity on everyday — that’s the rule at my home.”

With these facts on board our first instinct is to cover up our children and keep them indoor at all times. But control yourself for with sunscreen we are able to ensure that our children get the best of both worlds.

1. Communication:

According market research, stresses the importance of healthy communication in a woman’s ability to feel romantic. “Women report that they feel more intimacy with a partner when they talk together just before making love,”.

Some author and sex therapist said that most women, in order to share or be open verbally with their partner, must feel safe. Hesitation may come from a fear of hurting a partner’s feelings, especially when the subject is as touchy-feelly as sex.

2. Respect:

In today’s world of equal opportunity, women are working at high-powered jobs and display much self-confidence in the work place; even if that workplace is the home.

Women love a partner who is able to appreciate her strengths and attributes, and aren’t threatened by them. Dr. John Gray, writer of the Mars-Venus series of relationships manuals, points out those women need to be loved and cherished, before they can express love to another.

3. Romance:

Sexologist  theorizes that women typically view sex as pleasure-directed. “Simple acts like cuddling, kissing, and touching are sometimes the end in itself,” she explains.

Just as effective are traditional romantic gestures, such as a surprise dinner date; love notes taped to the fridge, or a sweet SMS that says her hubby is thinking of her in the middle of an important meeting.

4. Grooming:

If men are visual creatures, women tend to be more tactile, turned on by other sensual stimuli such as smell and touch. Women find most irresistible a man who smells clean and fresh, and who takes care of his physical appearance.

“Especially if she shares a bedroom with him! Clutter and poor hygiene are just not sexy,” says Gwen, 28, a model, who’s been married three years.

Anyone involved with a woman longer than a week knows the explosive power packed into this loaded question. Women wiggle around what they really want to hear leaving their men confused, helplessly hunkering down for the big boom set off by placing naive honesty in close contact with volatile compounds like estrogen and progesterone.

When a female asks that question, she wants assurance. Perhaps she’s feeling frumpy and wants her man to reaffirm how he feels about her, or she knows she looks hot and just wants him to behave like he did back in the day. The reason is of little consequence. Her man’s response is not.

Presentation and variety are important so feel free to mix items up. Do not however, use only items from any one column alone. Safe answers require both Ying and Yang.

(*NOTE: adjective + feature means items like sparkling eyes, beautiful smile, fabulous hair, full pouting lips, shapely legs, cute button nose, long sexy arms, graceful neck, beautiful hands, etc.)

If you choose to veer off this path of enlightened answers, a few words to the wise:

With an honest approach, remember that actions speak louder than words. For example, if you reply, “Gee honey. I like a little meat on the bone,” do not ogle a trim woman within the next 24 hours. This casts more than a shadow of doubt on your preference for women of substance, and will be interpreted as an affirmative answer to the big fat question.

Diversionary answers like “Your dress looks beautiful” work with some lightweights. The experienced will pick up on the item being beautiful, not them, which will also be interpreted as an affirmative answer.

Lastly, don’t pretend you didn’t hear her asking. My fourth grade teacher was wrong when she told us, “A closed mouth gathers no feet.” Your silence here will be interpreted as an affirmative answer. You’ll get a mouthful.

So, if you don’t want any affirmative action, stick to the menu selections. If not, something else might be sticking to your ribs.

“Five meters above ground?” Hmph, I swear my five-year-old daughter Elaine jumps that high when she watches Kung Fu Panda and re-enacts the fight scenes on the family bed! I have a concave mattress to prove it.

Swinging from tree to tree? I snorted at the computer screen. Most is a figure of speech, because photos show children wearing helmets and safety harnesses, instead swinging on vines ala Tarzan.

What I was most attracted to was the “2 hours of exhilarating fun”. Yes, Elaine will be occupied for 2 blissful hours while I sit down and enjoy my cappuccino. After all that exhilaration, she’ll probably need some rest, which gives me another 2 hours to do whatever I want. Sounds good, no?

In no time at all, I was on my way to London Reservoir Park with Elaine. It was rather easy to find, but what the guidebooks don’t tell you is that you need to walk another 100m from the nearest car park to the actual venue. Elaine and I enjoyed the walk nonetheless, thanks to the cool afternoon breeze.

When we finally reached the site, we saw an intricate suspension of boards, planks and rope connecting one tree to another. And although we were there on a weekday afternoon, we saw quite a few kids carefully negotiating their way from one tree to the next. My heart skipped a beat when I didn’t see any nets, but then each kid was wearing a harness and secured to a safety line.

Elaine’s eyes widened like saucers. “You mean I get to go up there?” She asked. “Yup!” I said. She promptly gave out several squeals of delight. “Quick! Quick! I wanna go! Now!”

My initial fears that Erin would back out of the course evaporated. “That’s my daughter all right.”

I thought proudly. A friendly instructor got Elaine suited up in a helmet and harness, and she was on her way, climbing up a ladder to her first challenge. Elaine was to move from one tree to the next by walking on suspended planks.

The first hint of trouble came when the instructor asked Elaine to stretch her arms repeatedly to touch the pulley. She’s supposed to be able to push the pulley in order to move from one challenge to the next. But Elaine’s arms were clearly just a tad too short to do so.

The instructor looked straight at me and said, “I’m afraid I’ve got to let her down. She needs to come back when she’s a bit older, say, in six months’ time.”

“But, but…” I stammered, as I saw Elaine’s face fall. To the instructor’s credit, he was really nice about it, and told me he understood how disappointed I was, having taken time off work specially to spend time with my daughter. He also offered to let Elaine down the zip line (what’s more commonly known as the Flying Fox) instead of having her climb down the ladder, so that the trip wouldn’t be a total waste. Finally, he offered to give me a voucher so that Elaine could come back in three months’ time for free.

I appreciated the fact that the instructor had Elaine’s safety in mind, but I was reluctant to let Elaine give up without giving the first challenge a try at least. The instructor agreed; so Elaine got to walk to the first tree, then return to the starting point. Elaine’s face showed slight nervousness but she overcame it by taking one step at a time. And she made it in the end! And when she came down the zip line, she was all smiles again!

When we went to collect the voucher, the instructor praised Elaine for not kicking up a fuss. Indeed, I was very proud that Elaine had taken the news quite calmly, and promised to reward her with an ice cream. Just as I was thinking these happy thoughts, I heard the instructor say, “So Elaine, you have to take more vegetables and take up skipping so that you can be taller and stronger okay?” Erin nodded enthusiastically, and started jumping in agreement. “Oh no!” I thought, “I got to buy her a new mattress!”

Father’s day is a beautiful day to celebrate the men in your life! Don’t be misled into thinking that you need to wait for this special day to show your appreciation; in fact, everyday can and should be a day of celebration!

Needless to say, I tend to doze off halfway through the game every single year on his shoulder, but my hubby is happy as long as I am right by his side as he is doing his favorite activity. This year, I plan to drink an extra cup of coffee to try to actually stay awake for the whole game!”