How you can reduce your dog’s separation anxiety?

If someone can come in to your home as a surrogate mummy or daddy for a short period, the dog will not be psychologically harmed. No one can replace you as your dog’s best friend, but getting someone in to keep it company in your absence will provide a significant amount of relief.

Dogs are emotional and social beings, and spending quality time to know them is one of the most important aspects of our job. Like ripping off a bandage, the best way to say goodbye to your faithful friend is to make it quick. Dogs, like humans, can sense when something is up. If you start acting out of the ordinary, your guilt will smell stronger than hefty spirits of aftershave.

Your dog will be acutely aware when you are planning a trip, there may be no way to hide from your pet when you are packing your suitcase, as they are likely to be by your side or even sitting on top of it!

We advise that you pack a few days in advance and then leave the case behind closed doors. When the day of departure arrives, whip the case straight out of the door, give them a hug and say goodbye quickly. This will be far less stressful for them.

Now that you can rest assured that Rover will survive, you are free to book that flight, wave a fond farewell to your fluffy friend, and take to the skies.

Look for language in her physical movements. Your baby tells you she has a tummy ache by drawing her knees tightly up to her stomach. You can tell she is relaxed when she lies flat on her back, gazing wide-eyed at the musical mobile.

Facial expressions are her way of communicating emotions. Psychologists have identified seven basic facial expressions that adults are capable of generating- unhappiness, joy, surprise, interest, disgust, terror and rage. Your baby too has enough control over her facial muscles to create all of these facial expressions herself.

CRIES

And then there is crying. During this first year, you quickly learn that your baby has different cries to express her different moods and sensations. You will develop an ability to tell one cry from another. It’s amazing how much she can tell you without uttering a word!

Here are some of her typical cries:

“IT’S FEEDING TIME“

This is one of those cries that starts off reasonably quiet, and then gets louder and louder. There are occasional pauses for a few seconds, as she swallows great gulps of air, but the crying is relentless.

“IT’S CHANGING TIME”

She doesn’t like to lie in a dirty nappy, and she wriggles her body about. Her crying is not so sharp because her distress is not so great. She may stop her tears occasionally, but will keep crying until she is changed into a dry one.

“IT’S PLAY TIME”

Your baby can amuse herself to some extent but she needs you to play, tall and interact with her. When bored, she uses crying almost like a shout – it is just to attract your attention.

Three months and over, eye-movements also become part of her body language repertoire. You know exactly what she means when she stares at the biscuit tin, babbles angrily and starts to cry. And when she bangs a toy loudly against the side of her cot, her furrowed expression lets you know she is angry. So make sure that you shop for toys that are durable.

SHE’s NEARLY ONE

By the time she’s one, these are some of the feelings she expresses:

REJECTION

Her hands push the food bowl away. She turns her face away as you raise the spoon to her lips. She’s telling you “I don’t like this and I want something else.”

CURIOSITY

You hear strange noises coming from her cot, and when you get there she’s straining to get hold of something that is just outside her reach.

ILL HEALTH

Lethargic body movements communicate as much as active gestures. If you’re infant is normally very active all the time and full of enthusiasm during her waking hours, then any listlessness should tell you she is feeling unwell.

Your baby’s ability to express her underlying feelings non-verbally creates a strong relationship with you. The more she feels you understand her, the stronger her emotional attachment to you.

Your new baby will also alter your social life. “I hardly go out with my friends anymore, because I have to express my milk every three to four hours daily. Even when I do, I’m often too tired to enjoy the night out. A simple trip to the shops gets tiring when I have to bring along tons of my pumping equipment,” shares Bonny.

And even if you do venture out, your expeditions would most likely be limited to baby-friendly shopping centers with nursing rooms. Karen, 26, a mother of a eight-month-old baby, who even had to change her circle of friends as not everyone fou venues, such as nd “poo” comparisons and diaper brand debates stimulating.

Your life would now literally revolve around your child. Some mothers have found that they even have to cut back on their “me time” for manicures, facials and other little luxuries. “There’s no more sleeping in on weekends, and we no longer take any spontaneous holidays,” according to Karen.

However, it is important to set limits and put aside time for pampering yourself, or even just to get basic sleep and recreation. “The family should offer support, and encourage the new mother to take some personal time off,” advises doctor.

Reality Checking Your Marriage

And Baby does make three, permanently! Be careful riot to become indifferent towards your role as a wife as you pay more attention towards your new duties as a mother. “Asians often have newborns sleeping in the parents’ bed, sometimes even for years! As such, husbands begin to feel neglected,” warns by some doctor, who advises couples to discuss their changing roles and division of responsibilities.

On the other hand, for some mums like Karen, the baby can also create a stronger bond between the wife and husband. “We have more things to talk about, and more decisions to make together. Having a baby increased our sense of inter-dependence and brought us closer together.”

The first shocking realization comes when new mothers realize that they still look six months pregnant after being wheeled out of the delivery room! I remained quite plump for the first two months, and only started to regain my figure in the seventh month.

According to doctor research explains that the amount a mother loses immediately after delivery would depend on the weight of the baby (usually 3 to 3.2kg), placenta (1/7th of the baby’s weight) and amniotic fluid (1 to 1.54); on average, 7kg in all.

“How long she takes to lose all the weight from pregnancy will depend on how much she has gained. So, don’t put on too much weight; 10 to 12kg is just perfect,” says doctor, who recommends total breastfeeding, dieting and exercise after the first six weeks of birth as good ways to regain your svelte pre-birth figure.

Reality Checking Your Emotions

If you are a first-time mum, don’t be surprised if you feel “sad” when bringing your baby home. “Baby blues” is a common syndrome that affects 50 to 70 per cent of postnatal women.

“It usually lasts a few days, in which new mothers experience spells of irritability and gloominess, as well as episodes of crying. More commonly, this afflicts first-time mothers and those who previously had significant premenstrual fluctuations of mood associated with PMS. This is attributed to hormonal changes after delivery,” says doctor.

Some mother even found herself “weepy” during the first month. They worried constantly if their baby was drinking sufficiently or sleeping well, and also felt especially useless when they could not breastfeed their son directly.

Doctor explains that the hormonal changes, coupled with the need to cope with a newborn baby, problems with breastfeeding, and a change in lifestyle, can be very challenging to any new mother, especially if she does not have any support.

“The clash in ideas on how to bring up the baby, the husband going to work, a crying child, and simple issues such as whether to use the supplements that are encouraged by some confinement ladies and grandmothers – all add to the depression,” says doctor, who advises new mothers to read, attend antenatal classes, and seek support from breastfeeding advisers or other mothers from the same generation. However, she cautions that “nothing really prepares you for the real thing”.

Feet Fetish

Men’s Santa Cruz & Dekum
For the dad who loves chic, comfortable shoes, then Crocs Style, the all-new high fashion
footwear line, would be most ideal. And what’s more, it is made from the same Croslitetm material.

Seriously Stylish

Men’s Star Chronograph,

Surprise him with a whimsically but elegant and high fashion gift from Shanghai Tang…An exquisite timepiece that adds a touch of exclusivity and intricacy to an otherwise lackluster item. The strap of the Men’s Star Chronograph is 100 percent leather and comes in both red and black. A definite must-have!!

Modern Mature Man

D & G Aviator,

Drop-shape, 1970s-style model features a thin, elegant double bridge that makes it particularly current. The front frame is made entirely of metal while the arms are injection-molded acetate, an extremely lightweight and comfortable material. This model is available in black, Havana, beige, white and purple. The lenses are polycarbonate and in the gradient versions, brown and smoke, they are APX.

Vibrantly Versatile

Blackberry Storm

This is the perfect gift for dad who wants to stay connected at all times. Watch your icons dance across the screen under your fingertips. Ignite your senses with the BlackBerry Storm — a revolutionary Smartphone that features the world’s first “clickable” touch screen display, designed for accurate typing and fast navigation. An ideal status symbol for the style- conscious consumer, the BlackBerry Storm will make a great impression as you travel across town or to almost any corner of the world.

Fashionably Forward

Jesse James Dopp Kit

Kiehl’s will be launching a limited edition kit in June’09, specially designed by JESSE JAMES, a famous motorcycle builder from Long Beach, CA. James designed a men’s dopp kit for Kiehl’s filled with a selection of his favorites, including the Facial Fuel moisturizer, White Eagle Shave Cream, Ultimate Man Scrub Soap, Facial Fuel Face

Wash, Ult Strength Hand Salve deluxe.

“So cliché, you obviously read too many magazines!” scoffed my bemused hubby.

“Well, do you have any better suggestions then,  Mr Computer Nerd?” I challenged him haughtily.

“I’m glad you asked, because as a matter of fact, I do have some ideas that I would like to run by you,” said my husband rather enthusiastically.

The Fantasy Feeling.

I remember feeling a slight twinge of apprehension at this point, and knowing his fascination with anime, I guess I could more or less tell what was coming. What I didn’t know however, was just how elaborate Chris’s fantasy really was.

I suppose you could say that you can’t knock down an idea until you’ve completely heard it out. Trying my utmost to suppress my giggles, I listened to my husband’s plan to dress up as characters in one of his favorite animation series and re-enact a scene whereby I would be “saved” by his heroic character. Like a slick executive trying to pitch his idea, my husband told me his little plan to go somewhere deserted and outdoors to get it on. I must say, incredulous as I was at the sheer audacity of his suggestion, I did feel a slight tremor of excitement as it sounded forbidden, unconventional and pretty sexy and hot.

After much wheedling (yes, grown men do that too!), I finally decided to give it a try late on Saturday night. From what I can recall, I was trudging into a forested area wearing nothing but a strange, skimpy costume and mumbling to my husband, “Oh why can’t you just have that school teacher fantasy like all other guys?”

Finally, we managed to find a small clearing that we deemed secluded enough so that we would not be caught in the act. With my arms tied around the trunk of a nearby tree, we thus began to re-enact the scene whereby my husband’s superhero character would have to come rescue me.

I must say that I felt rather vulnerable standing there in a public space wearing close to nothing, and it was quite a turn on. My heart was pounding wildly against my chest and I began breathing heavily as my husband undid the piece of cloth binding my hands together. After he struggled with the rope for a while, things started getting hot and heavy. Knowing that we might get caught at any minute provided us with that adrenaline rush of excitement that we had never experienced before. Finally, when the deed was done, we quickly dressed and made our way to our car parked nearby, faces flushed with exhilaration and embarrassment.

The End…?

Thrilling as it was, my husband and I decided to limit our role-playing activities to the confines of our bedroom, as what we just did was dangerous, not to mention illegal. Nonetheless, that one time was enough to re-ignite the sparks in our feelings of passion towards one another and things have not been the same since then!

Donny, on the other hand, had something else in mind. Despite his apparently happy family life, he divorced his wife at the end of their first year in Australia. He claimed to have found “the love of his life.”

Stephanie, a former office clerk who gave up her career to support her husband’s work, simply couldn’t believe her ears. “I thought we had a great marriage. He had just recently mentioned that we should go to the Maldives for our tenth anniversary. We were best friends,” she says. Stephanie and Donny were together for fifteen years and were married for over nine of those.

Donny left home the same evening after breaking the news, and Stephanie watched her two children, aged ten and seven, crying in despair. For the first few weeks, she denied the situation, thinking that he was just having “a hard time at work” and that he would return.

A month on and forced to deal with the practicalities of family life on her own, Stephanie found herself relying greatly on her new friends.

“When we live abroad without family and relatives close by, good friends become our real family and baby. I couldn’t have coped without their advice and support, even for things like finding a lawyer. My helper has been like a mother. She has been looking after me and my children with so much care.” So far, Stephanie doesn’t know what the future holds financially for her and the children as she and John have not yet agreed on where the family should live.

“It is difficult for me even to Google ‘divorce’ on the web,” she acids. “I didn’t come to Australia to get divorced.” Stephanie is still coming to terms with her new circumstances. She remembers that she had contingency plans for her husband losing his job, their parents dying or someone falling sick. “But never thought that he would ever leave.”

On a positive note, she says that her children are the most important things in her life and that her happiness comes from within.

Spontaneity:

Variety stimulates the pleasure centers of the brain, maintaining the climate of romance, writes Professional Advisor.

So steer clear of routine. Full your husband‘s need for spontaneous, and unscheduled, sex by making love in the morning, instead of bedtime. Danger (of being late for work, for instance!) and novelty are two passion triggers that can be tripped very pleasantly by an unexpected roll in the hay.

Visual Stimulation (pretty things):

Men like to look according to Dr. Fisher, with most psychologists agreeing that for men, the visual image triggers romantic passion.

Don’t neglect your physical appearance, and use your looks to your advantage. “I always wear nice lingerie under my business suits,” shares Amanda, 30, “and make sure my husband sees. He loves it!”

Other visual treats would involve making love with the lights on; or in soft candlelight, which will give you a very flattering – and sexy glow.

Letting him take the lead:

Based on a study done by Dartmouth University, women who look men in the eye are perceived as sexier and more attractive. “When someone looks at us,” says study author Malia Mason, “it’s physiologically arousing.”

Try gazing at him over the dinner table…and once you’ve snagged his attention, rev him up even inure by telling him what you’d like to do next.

Learning What Please Him:

This is actually very important to men, who tend to be goal- oriented when it comes to sex. Lou Paget writes, “Granted, most men find the act of pleasuring his partner a huge turn-on.”

So tell him what pleases you, and what doesn’t. Being verbal about what feels good gets the message across in a way that thrills both you, and your partner.

Different Worlds

Despite vastly different interests, Chris and I do in fact share plenty of common passions, such as sport, art, traveling and a wicked sense of humor. We get along great and he always jokes about me being the ultimate tree huger, whilst I often tease him about fantasizing over the grotesquely large bosomed, endless ‘chopstick legged’ animated female characters. At times, my husband would jokingly suggest that I dress up like one of his sexy Japanese chic idols, but I promptly dismiss it as idle banter.

We had already been married for almost three years, and although still very much in love, I would be lying if I said that things in the bedroom were as passionate or fiery as on our honeymoon in Paris. Sex was starting to become a rather mundane affair, and we both knew the usual drill: Get home from work, have dinner, have a bath and get into bed…. In short, there was no more excitement. The feeling that we had to have each other right there and then was not really there anymore.

Helen and their two children, aged eight and ten, had just come from another post in Asia. “I was a homemaker. I had no job and no qualifications to get one. I looked at myself and knew that I was a good mother and housewife. But I lacked confidence.”

The first year was the toughest and Helen admits she couldn’t have survived without a good friend in another country who was available at all hours on the phone to help.

“I didn’t know anybody in NZ. I feared for my future and how to raise the children on my oven. How do you start your career in your 40s?”

Helen wrote down her goals and a five-year plan. She decided to stay in New Zealand to give her children the best possible education. Then she enrolled in courses on computer skills and management, and now she is finishing her master’s degree. “I wanted my children to think that I was awesome. And now, when I wake up in the morning, I feel that life is good.”

Having hit rock bottom, as she describes her divorce, Helen emphasizes that friends are essential, but that they must also be patient if their advice isn’t followed immediately. “You know what you need to do but you are no lost in your devastation that you can’t move on. It can be very frustrating for friends.” Helen observes that despite living in a community that proclaims itself modern, her children suffered a silent exclusion in social circles and schools. “We wouldn’t get invited to certain gatherings because we were a one-parent family.”

My husband and I were delighted with the present because we ourselves were avid readers who had more shelf space for books than clothes, pots and pans, and sports equipment combined. I recalled the warm memories of reading when I was little – skipping along beside my mother as she led us to the Bordland Community Library where my sister and I would spend hours sitting cross-legged on the floor, devouring books of all kinds. As I wanted John to start building similar memories, I began reading to him immediately.

Every night, since he was barely two months old, John and I sit together while I read aloud to him. At first, John would just stare quite blankly at the pages, while I chatted away. But as he got more active and aware, he began to participate in our reading “dates”, charming me by chewing on the books and helping me turn the pages. Recently, eight-month-old John has started babbling non-stop and our reading “dates” have taken on another dimension – they have become opportunities for him to pick up new sounds; for example, by hearing words like “banana”, “bicycle”, and “ball”, he is learning the “b” sound.

In addition, John sees an image of the banana hears the sounds “ba”, “na”, “no” and learns to associate those sounds with the image of a banana. Our regular reading “dates” have been educational, not just for John, but for me as well. I have become convinced that reading aloud to a child, even to a very young child like John, is an important and excellent activity that every parent should try.

He even helps me with my shopping bags without a single word of complaint! Every year on Father’s day, I make it a point to celebrate with my patient husband by being his personal chauffeur for the day. Whether it is to an S-League soccer match, or making a trip to Japan for his favorite seafood, I make sure that I do the driving, so my hubby can just sit back, relax and enjoy his special day.”

Yes, if you’re one of those women who prefer to let your husbands do the bustling around, then it might be a good idea to take the wheel and give your husband the day off instead. Start asking your beloved what he wants to do the day before Father’s day and make it a point to be as accommodating and easygoing as possible, even if he just wants to relax at home and do nothing the whole day.

In a way, I guess you could say that poor Matthias experienced my labor pains together with me, with his arm suffering from some major bruises after being clenched by my vice-like grip for a few hours as I cussed like a sailor at the intense labor pains!

Although I could see that he too was grimacing in discomfort at seeing me in such pain, he never once left my side or panicked. That’s my calm, unassuming husband Chris for you,” shares mother of two, Gwen. They say that behind every successful man, a stand a loyal and supportive wife, but the fact of the matter is that it really works both ways. A strong, caring husband and wife duo can carry each other through both the hard and wonderful times.

Just like there is a special day celebrating all mothers, Father’s day honors all the men out there who have to juggle their multiple roles as fathers, disciplinarians, husbands, role-models, family chauffeurs, and sometimes even personal shoppers! It sure isn’t easy work, so why not show them your appreciation for all that they have done for the family, and perhaps even try to refrain from nagging them for leaving the toilet seat down, just for a day! Just how can you thank your beloved on his special day? We talk to some loving wives who candidly share their Father’s day experiences.

1. Communication:

According market research, stresses the importance of healthy communication in a woman’s ability to feel romantic. “Women report that they feel more intimacy with a partner when they talk together just before making love,”.

Some author and sex therapist said that most women, in order to share or be open verbally with their partner, must feel safe. Hesitation may come from a fear of hurting a partner’s feelings, especially when the subject is as touchy-feelly as sex.

2. Respect:

In today’s world of equal opportunity, women are working at high-powered jobs and display much self-confidence in the work place; even if that workplace is the home.

Women love a partner who is able to appreciate her strengths and attributes, and aren’t threatened by them. Dr. John Gray, writer of the Mars-Venus series of relationships manuals, points out those women need to be loved and cherished, before they can express love to another.

3. Romance:

Sexologist  theorizes that women typically view sex as pleasure-directed. “Simple acts like cuddling, kissing, and touching are sometimes the end in itself,” she explains.

Just as effective are traditional romantic gestures, such as a surprise dinner date; love notes taped to the fridge, or a sweet SMS that says her hubby is thinking of her in the middle of an important meeting.

4. Grooming:

If men are visual creatures, women tend to be more tactile, turned on by other sensual stimuli such as smell and touch. Women find most irresistible a man who smells clean and fresh, and who takes care of his physical appearance.

“Especially if she shares a bedroom with him! Clutter and poor hygiene are just not sexy,” says Gwen, 28, a model, who’s been married three years.