How you can reduce your dog’s separation anxiety?

If someone can come in to your home as a surrogate mummy or daddy for a short period, the dog will not be psychologically harmed. No one can replace you as your dog’s best friend, but getting someone in to keep it company in your absence will provide a significant amount of relief.

Dogs are emotional and social beings, and spending quality time to know them is one of the most important aspects of our job. Like ripping off a bandage, the best way to say goodbye to your faithful friend is to make it quick. Dogs, like humans, can sense when something is up. If you start acting out of the ordinary, your guilt will smell stronger than hefty spirits of aftershave.

Your dog will be acutely aware when you are planning a trip, there may be no way to hide from your pet when you are packing your suitcase, as they are likely to be by your side or even sitting on top of it!

We advise that you pack a few days in advance and then leave the case behind closed doors. When the day of departure arrives, whip the case straight out of the door, give them a hug and say goodbye quickly. This will be far less stressful for them.

Now that you can rest assured that Rover will survive, you are free to book that flight, wave a fond farewell to your fluffy friend, and take to the skies.

Look for language in her physical movements. Your baby tells you she has a tummy ache by drawing her knees tightly up to her stomach. You can tell she is relaxed when she lies flat on her back, gazing wide-eyed at the musical mobile.

Facial expressions are her way of communicating emotions. Psychologists have identified seven basic facial expressions that adults are capable of generating- unhappiness, joy, surprise, interest, disgust, terror and rage. Your baby too has enough control over her facial muscles to create all of these facial expressions herself.

CRIES

And then there is crying. During this first year, you quickly learn that your baby has different cries to express her different moods and sensations. You will develop an ability to tell one cry from another. It’s amazing how much she can tell you without uttering a word!

Here are some of her typical cries:

“IT’S FEEDING TIME“

This is one of those cries that starts off reasonably quiet, and then gets louder and louder. There are occasional pauses for a few seconds, as she swallows great gulps of air, but the crying is relentless.

“IT’S CHANGING TIME”

She doesn’t like to lie in a dirty nappy, and she wriggles her body about. Her crying is not so sharp because her distress is not so great. She may stop her tears occasionally, but will keep crying until she is changed into a dry one.

“IT’S PLAY TIME”

Your baby can amuse herself to some extent but she needs you to play, tall and interact with her. When bored, she uses crying almost like a shout – it is just to attract your attention.

Three months and over, eye-movements also become part of her body language repertoire. You know exactly what she means when she stares at the biscuit tin, babbles angrily and starts to cry. And when she bangs a toy loudly against the side of her cot, her furrowed expression lets you know she is angry. So make sure that you shop for toys that are durable.

SHE’s NEARLY ONE

By the time she’s one, these are some of the feelings she expresses:

REJECTION

Her hands push the food bowl away. She turns her face away as you raise the spoon to her lips. She’s telling you “I don’t like this and I want something else.”

CURIOSITY

You hear strange noises coming from her cot, and when you get there she’s straining to get hold of something that is just outside her reach.

ILL HEALTH

Lethargic body movements communicate as much as active gestures. If you’re infant is normally very active all the time and full of enthusiasm during her waking hours, then any listlessness should tell you she is feeling unwell.

Your baby’s ability to express her underlying feelings non-verbally creates a strong relationship with you. The more she feels you understand her, the stronger her emotional attachment to you.

Your new baby will also alter your social life. “I hardly go out with my friends anymore, because I have to express my milk every three to four hours daily. Even when I do, I’m often too tired to enjoy the night out. A simple trip to the shops gets tiring when I have to bring along tons of my pumping equipment,” shares Bonny.

And even if you do venture out, your expeditions would most likely be limited to baby-friendly shopping centers with nursing rooms. Karen, 26, a mother of a eight-month-old baby, who even had to change her circle of friends as not everyone fou venues, such as nd “poo” comparisons and diaper brand debates stimulating.

Your life would now literally revolve around your child. Some mothers have found that they even have to cut back on their “me time” for manicures, facials and other little luxuries. “There’s no more sleeping in on weekends, and we no longer take any spontaneous holidays,” according to Karen.

However, it is important to set limits and put aside time for pampering yourself, or even just to get basic sleep and recreation. “The family should offer support, and encourage the new mother to take some personal time off,” advises doctor.

Reality Checking Your Marriage

And Baby does make three, permanently! Be careful riot to become indifferent towards your role as a wife as you pay more attention towards your new duties as a mother. “Asians often have newborns sleeping in the parents’ bed, sometimes even for years! As such, husbands begin to feel neglected,” warns by some doctor, who advises couples to discuss their changing roles and division of responsibilities.

On the other hand, for some mums like Karen, the baby can also create a stronger bond between the wife and husband. “We have more things to talk about, and more decisions to make together. Having a baby increased our sense of inter-dependence and brought us closer together.”

Donny, on the other hand, had something else in mind. Despite his apparently happy family life, he divorced his wife at the end of their first year in Australia. He claimed to have found “the love of his life.”

Stephanie, a former office clerk who gave up her career to support her husband’s work, simply couldn’t believe her ears. “I thought we had a great marriage. He had just recently mentioned that we should go to the Maldives for our tenth anniversary. We were best friends,” she says. Stephanie and Donny were together for fifteen years and were married for over nine of those.

Donny left home the same evening after breaking the news, and Stephanie watched her two children, aged ten and seven, crying in despair. For the first few weeks, she denied the situation, thinking that he was just having “a hard time at work” and that he would return.

A month on and forced to deal with the practicalities of family life on her own, Stephanie found herself relying greatly on her new friends.

“When we live abroad without family and relatives close by, good friends become our real family and baby. I couldn’t have coped without their advice and support, even for things like finding a lawyer. My helper has been like a mother. She has been looking after me and my children with so much care.” So far, Stephanie doesn’t know what the future holds financially for her and the children as she and John have not yet agreed on where the family should live.

“It is difficult for me even to Google ‘divorce’ on the web,” she acids. “I didn’t come to Australia to get divorced.” Stephanie is still coming to terms with her new circumstances. She remembers that she had contingency plans for her husband losing his job, their parents dying or someone falling sick. “But never thought that he would ever leave.”

On a positive note, she says that her children are the most important things in her life and that her happiness comes from within.

To minimize back pains, here are some simple things to do:

1. Cut down on your physical activities, especially those that stress the lower back and pelvis, like climbing stairs, walking long distances and standing for long periods.
2. Sleeping with your face up puts a lot of pressure on your back. Lying on your side with a pillow between your knees would reduce the pressure. If you are used to sleeping on your back, placing a pillow under your knees can cut the pressure by half.
3. Another small pillow under the lower back will also help.
4. Control your diet to avoid excessive weight gain, which will make the strain worse.
5. Strengthen your back muscles through exercise or yoga.

The seven yoga poses below are good for strengthening the lower back, and increasing lung capacity and elasticity for easy delivery. Do them once or twice a week if you are in your third to eighth month of pregnancy. Some Yoga instructor even advice that pregnancy female handles prenatal classes at Yoga. They describe the poses:

1. Breathing.

Sit cross-legged on the floor in a meditative pose. Keep the back straight and rest hands, palms facing up, on the knees. Close your eyes.

Place the right thumb over the right nostril to close it and inhale slowly through the left nostril. Close the left nostril with the ring finger on the right hand and release the thumb that was over the right nostril. Exhale through the right nostril. Then, inhale through the right nostril and close it with the right thumb. Open the left nostril and exhale through the left. This is one set. Do five sets.

The timing of the breathing is important. Maintain a ratio of 1:2. That means, if you are inhaling for five seconds, exhale for 10 seconds.

2. Cat Pose.

Get down on hands and knees, tucking toes in. Spread the knees and feet slightly and stretch out your toes. Exhale while pushing the lower back upwards and tucking the head down. Inhale with the head looking upwards and lower back pushed downwards. Do this five times.

3. Cat Pose Balancing.

In the same hands and knees position, raise your right hand and left leg, keeping them in a straight line with the back and shoulders. Repeat with the left hand and right leg. Do three sets.

4. Bridge Pose

Lie on your back and bend the knees. Place your feet as close as possible to your bottom, feet apart.

Slowly lift the hips and lower back up with the support of your hands – your thumb supporting your back, your fingers over your sides. Hold the pose for seven seconds then slowly return to the starting position. Do three sets.

5. Spinal Leg Raises

Lie on your back with feet together and knees bent. Rest arms, palms facing up, on the floor at shoulder level.

Slowly drop both knees to the right while turning your head to look to the left. Repeat on the opposite side. Do three sets.

6. Single Leg Raises.

Lie on your back with legs together and rest hands by the thighs, palms down. Bend the left leg till the left foot is beside the right knee. Slowly raise the right leg to about 30 degrees and hold for five seconds. Rise further to 60 degrees and hold for five seconds. Increase to 90 degrees and hold for five seconds. Return the leg slowly to starting position. Repeat with the left leg. Do three sets.

7. Tree Pose

While standing, slowly bend one knee and slide the foot of that leg up to rest on the front of the thigh of the other leg.

Maintaining balance, slowly raise both hands up and place the palms together above the head. Keep eyes focused on something in front of you to help in balancing. Hold the position for 15 seconds.

8. Modified Cobra Pose.

Stand with feet together, in front of a chair. Hold the back of the chair for support. Slowly raise your chin up and drop your head backwards. Bend your back backwards and hold for five to seven seconds, then return to the starting position. Do this three times.

1. Communication:

According market research, stresses the importance of healthy communication in a woman’s ability to feel romantic. “Women report that they feel more intimacy with a partner when they talk together just before making love,”.

Some author and sex therapist said that most women, in order to share or be open verbally with their partner, must feel safe. Hesitation may come from a fear of hurting a partner’s feelings, especially when the subject is as touchy-feelly as sex.

2. Respect:

In today’s world of equal opportunity, women are working at high-powered jobs and display much self-confidence in the work place; even if that workplace is the home.

Women love a partner who is able to appreciate her strengths and attributes, and aren’t threatened by them. Dr. John Gray, writer of the Mars-Venus series of relationships manuals, points out those women need to be loved and cherished, before they can express love to another.

3. Romance:

Sexologist  theorizes that women typically view sex as pleasure-directed. “Simple acts like cuddling, kissing, and touching are sometimes the end in itself,” she explains.

Just as effective are traditional romantic gestures, such as a surprise dinner date; love notes taped to the fridge, or a sweet SMS that says her hubby is thinking of her in the middle of an important meeting.

4. Grooming:

If men are visual creatures, women tend to be more tactile, turned on by other sensual stimuli such as smell and touch. Women find most irresistible a man who smells clean and fresh, and who takes care of his physical appearance.

“Especially if she shares a bedroom with him! Clutter and poor hygiene are just not sexy,” says Gwen, 28, a model, who’s been married three years.