How you can reduce your dog’s separation anxiety?

If someone can come in to your home as a surrogate mummy or daddy for a short period, the dog will not be psychologically harmed. No one can replace you as your dog’s best friend, but getting someone in to keep it company in your absence will provide a significant amount of relief.

Dogs are emotional and social beings, and spending quality time to know them is one of the most important aspects of our job. Like ripping off a bandage, the best way to say goodbye to your faithful friend is to make it quick. Dogs, like humans, can sense when something is up. If you start acting out of the ordinary, your guilt will smell stronger than hefty spirits of aftershave.

Your dog will be acutely aware when you are planning a trip, there may be no way to hide from your pet when you are packing your suitcase, as they are likely to be by your side or even sitting on top of it!

We advise that you pack a few days in advance and then leave the case behind closed doors. When the day of departure arrives, whip the case straight out of the door, give them a hug and say goodbye quickly. This will be far less stressful for them.

Now that you can rest assured that Rover will survive, you are free to book that flight, wave a fond farewell to your fluffy friend, and take to the skies.

Your new baby will also alter your social life. “I hardly go out with my friends anymore, because I have to express my milk every three to four hours daily. Even when I do, I’m often too tired to enjoy the night out. A simple trip to the shops gets tiring when I have to bring along tons of my pumping equipment,” shares Bonny.

And even if you do venture out, your expeditions would most likely be limited to baby-friendly shopping centers with nursing rooms. Karen, 26, a mother of a eight-month-old baby, who even had to change her circle of friends as not everyone fou venues, such as nd “poo” comparisons and diaper brand debates stimulating.

Your life would now literally revolve around your child. Some mothers have found that they even have to cut back on their “me time” for manicures, facials and other little luxuries. “There’s no more sleeping in on weekends, and we no longer take any spontaneous holidays,” according to Karen.

However, it is important to set limits and put aside time for pampering yourself, or even just to get basic sleep and recreation. “The family should offer support, and encourage the new mother to take some personal time off,” advises doctor.

Reality Checking Your Marriage

And Baby does make three, permanently! Be careful riot to become indifferent towards your role as a wife as you pay more attention towards your new duties as a mother. “Asians often have newborns sleeping in the parents’ bed, sometimes even for years! As such, husbands begin to feel neglected,” warns by some doctor, who advises couples to discuss their changing roles and division of responsibilities.

On the other hand, for some mums like Karen, the baby can also create a stronger bond between the wife and husband. “We have more things to talk about, and more decisions to make together. Having a baby increased our sense of inter-dependence and brought us closer together.”

Donny, on the other hand, had something else in mind. Despite his apparently happy family life, he divorced his wife at the end of their first year in Australia. He claimed to have found “the love of his life.”

Stephanie, a former office clerk who gave up her career to support her husband’s work, simply couldn’t believe her ears. “I thought we had a great marriage. He had just recently mentioned that we should go to the Maldives for our tenth anniversary. We were best friends,” she says. Stephanie and Donny were together for fifteen years and were married for over nine of those.

Donny left home the same evening after breaking the news, and Stephanie watched her two children, aged ten and seven, crying in despair. For the first few weeks, she denied the situation, thinking that he was just having “a hard time at work” and that he would return.

A month on and forced to deal with the practicalities of family life on her own, Stephanie found herself relying greatly on her new friends.

“When we live abroad without family and relatives close by, good friends become our real family and baby. I couldn’t have coped without their advice and support, even for things like finding a lawyer. My helper has been like a mother. She has been looking after me and my children with so much care.” So far, Stephanie doesn’t know what the future holds financially for her and the children as she and John have not yet agreed on where the family should live.

“It is difficult for me even to Google ‘divorce’ on the web,” she acids. “I didn’t come to Australia to get divorced.” Stephanie is still coming to terms with her new circumstances. She remembers that she had contingency plans for her husband losing his job, their parents dying or someone falling sick. “But never thought that he would ever leave.”

On a positive note, she says that her children are the most important things in her life and that her happiness comes from within.

But finding the balance between too little, too much, and just the right amount can be difficult. Under-stimulation of your baby eventually causes him to be passive and lethargic — lack of toys, games, attention from parents, songs and other play activities has this effect. He quickly adjusts to the status of inactivity. And when he does receive stimulation, he doesn’t know how to react.

Over-stimulation of your baby, however, can be just as detrimental. The chances are that if you expect too much of your baby, you will continue to expect too much of him when he is older, and he may become afraid of failure. By the time he starts school, he could dread the prospect of not being the best pupil in class. Or you might be so obsessed with his intellectual and linguistic skills that you lose sight of his emotional development.

The Best Approach

Of course you want your growing baby to be bright, lively and alert. Finding a suitable level of stimulation is a challenge for every parent.

The best way to know that you’ve got a healthy balance is to watch your baby. If he is motivated, has a sparkling facial expression and reacts positively to you when you play with him, you can be sure you’ve got his stimulation just right.

Here are some suggestions:

* PLAY WITH YOUR BABY EVERY DAY

No matter how hectic your schedule is, you should have at least five or 10 minutes to play a couple of times. More would be ideal, but this should be the minimum.

* DON’T FORCE YOURSELF TO PLAY WITH YOUR BABY

If you’ve had a long, hard day with your baby and feel too tired to play any more with him, then stop.

* ALLOW HIM FREE PLAY

He needs to have times during the day when he explores, plays and discovers by himself, without your involvement or direction. Make sure he has free-play opportunities every single day.

* WATCH THE WAY HE PLAYS WITH TOYS

If you notice that he tends to play with the same toy every single day and that his play is repetitive and lacking adventure, it’s time to get more involved in order to extend his play skills.

* JOIN IN WITHOUT DOMINATING

When stimulating your baby, remember that there is a difference between playing with him and taking over altogether. Offer new suggestions and activities but let him be the one who plays with the toys, not you.

* KEEP IT FUN

Both you and your baby should enjoy your involvement with each other. If the fun goes out of play — either for you or your baby — there may be either too little or too much stimulation.

He even helps me with my shopping bags without a single word of complaint! Every year on Father’s day, I make it a point to celebrate with my patient husband by being his personal chauffeur for the day. Whether it is to an S-League soccer match, or making a trip to Japan for his favorite seafood, I make sure that I do the driving, so my hubby can just sit back, relax and enjoy his special day.”

Yes, if you’re one of those women who prefer to let your husbands do the bustling around, then it might be a good idea to take the wheel and give your husband the day off instead. Start asking your beloved what he wants to do the day before Father’s day and make it a point to be as accommodating and easygoing as possible, even if he just wants to relax at home and do nothing the whole day.

In a way, I guess you could say that poor Matthias experienced my labor pains together with me, with his arm suffering from some major bruises after being clenched by my vice-like grip for a few hours as I cussed like a sailor at the intense labor pains!

Although I could see that he too was grimacing in discomfort at seeing me in such pain, he never once left my side or panicked. That’s my calm, unassuming husband Chris for you,” shares mother of two, Gwen. They say that behind every successful man, a stand a loyal and supportive wife, but the fact of the matter is that it really works both ways. A strong, caring husband and wife duo can carry each other through both the hard and wonderful times.

Just like there is a special day celebrating all mothers, Father’s day honors all the men out there who have to juggle their multiple roles as fathers, disciplinarians, husbands, role-models, family chauffeurs, and sometimes even personal shoppers! It sure isn’t easy work, so why not show them your appreciation for all that they have done for the family, and perhaps even try to refrain from nagging them for leaving the toilet seat down, just for a day! Just how can you thank your beloved on his special day? We talk to some loving wives who candidly share their Father’s day experiences.

Anyone involved with a woman longer than a week knows the explosive power packed into this loaded question. Women wiggle around what they really want to hear leaving their men confused, helplessly hunkering down for the big boom set off by placing naive honesty in close contact with volatile compounds like estrogen and progesterone.

When a female asks that question, she wants assurance. Perhaps she’s feeling frumpy and wants her man to reaffirm how he feels about her, or she knows she looks hot and just wants him to behave like he did back in the day. The reason is of little consequence. Her man’s response is not.

Presentation and variety are important so feel free to mix items up. Do not however, use only items from any one column alone. Safe answers require both Ying and Yang.

(*NOTE: adjective + feature means items like sparkling eyes, beautiful smile, fabulous hair, full pouting lips, shapely legs, cute button nose, long sexy arms, graceful neck, beautiful hands, etc.)

If you choose to veer off this path of enlightened answers, a few words to the wise:

With an honest approach, remember that actions speak louder than words. For example, if you reply, “Gee honey. I like a little meat on the bone,” do not ogle a trim woman within the next 24 hours. This casts more than a shadow of doubt on your preference for women of substance, and will be interpreted as an affirmative answer to the big fat question.

Diversionary answers like “Your dress looks beautiful” work with some lightweights. The experienced will pick up on the item being beautiful, not them, which will also be interpreted as an affirmative answer.

Lastly, don’t pretend you didn’t hear her asking. My fourth grade teacher was wrong when she told us, “A closed mouth gathers no feet.” Your silence here will be interpreted as an affirmative answer. You’ll get a mouthful.

So, if you don’t want any affirmative action, stick to the menu selections. If not, something else might be sticking to your ribs.

“Five meters above ground?” Hmph, I swear my five-year-old daughter Elaine jumps that high when she watches Kung Fu Panda and re-enacts the fight scenes on the family bed! I have a concave mattress to prove it.

Swinging from tree to tree? I snorted at the computer screen. Most is a figure of speech, because photos show children wearing helmets and safety harnesses, instead swinging on vines ala Tarzan.

What I was most attracted to was the “2 hours of exhilarating fun”. Yes, Elaine will be occupied for 2 blissful hours while I sit down and enjoy my cappuccino. After all that exhilaration, she’ll probably need some rest, which gives me another 2 hours to do whatever I want. Sounds good, no?

In no time at all, I was on my way to London Reservoir Park with Elaine. It was rather easy to find, but what the guidebooks don’t tell you is that you need to walk another 100m from the nearest car park to the actual venue. Elaine and I enjoyed the walk nonetheless, thanks to the cool afternoon breeze.

When we finally reached the site, we saw an intricate suspension of boards, planks and rope connecting one tree to another. And although we were there on a weekday afternoon, we saw quite a few kids carefully negotiating their way from one tree to the next. My heart skipped a beat when I didn’t see any nets, but then each kid was wearing a harness and secured to a safety line.

Elaine’s eyes widened like saucers. “You mean I get to go up there?” She asked. “Yup!” I said. She promptly gave out several squeals of delight. “Quick! Quick! I wanna go! Now!”

My initial fears that Erin would back out of the course evaporated. “That’s my daughter all right.”

I thought proudly. A friendly instructor got Elaine suited up in a helmet and harness, and she was on her way, climbing up a ladder to her first challenge. Elaine was to move from one tree to the next by walking on suspended planks.

The first hint of trouble came when the instructor asked Elaine to stretch her arms repeatedly to touch the pulley. She’s supposed to be able to push the pulley in order to move from one challenge to the next. But Elaine’s arms were clearly just a tad too short to do so.

The instructor looked straight at me and said, “I’m afraid I’ve got to let her down. She needs to come back when she’s a bit older, say, in six months’ time.”

“But, but…” I stammered, as I saw Elaine’s face fall. To the instructor’s credit, he was really nice about it, and told me he understood how disappointed I was, having taken time off work specially to spend time with my daughter. He also offered to let Elaine down the zip line (what’s more commonly known as the Flying Fox) instead of having her climb down the ladder, so that the trip wouldn’t be a total waste. Finally, he offered to give me a voucher so that Elaine could come back in three months’ time for free.

I appreciated the fact that the instructor had Elaine’s safety in mind, but I was reluctant to let Elaine give up without giving the first challenge a try at least. The instructor agreed; so Elaine got to walk to the first tree, then return to the starting point. Elaine’s face showed slight nervousness but she overcame it by taking one step at a time. And she made it in the end! And when she came down the zip line, she was all smiles again!

When we went to collect the voucher, the instructor praised Elaine for not kicking up a fuss. Indeed, I was very proud that Elaine had taken the news quite calmly, and promised to reward her with an ice cream. Just as I was thinking these happy thoughts, I heard the instructor say, “So Elaine, you have to take more vegetables and take up skipping so that you can be taller and stronger okay?” Erin nodded enthusiastically, and started jumping in agreement. “Oh no!” I thought, “I got to buy her a new mattress!”

Father’s day is a beautiful day to celebrate the men in your life! Don’t be misled into thinking that you need to wait for this special day to show your appreciation; in fact, everyday can and should be a day of celebration!