Don’t automatically give her more. Resist the temptation to keep feeding her until she refuses to take any more. Remind yourself that she doesn’t have to be “full” all the time.

There is a difference between having enough to eat and being full. She doesn’t have to be so stuffed she cannot swallow another drop.

Encourage breaks during mealtimes. Your baby should not gulp down the entire contents of the bottle in one go without a break. Make sure she pauses every so often. The same applies to your hungry one-year-old.

Avoid using food as a comforter. Try not to give your baby food or sweets whenever she cries.

The chances are that she is not crying from hunger. If you feed her every time she cries, she’ll soon cry just for the sake of getting more.

Instead of reaching for that extra bottle of milk during the night, give her a drink of water. She might only be thirsty, not hungry.

Your new baby will also alter your social life. “I hardly go out with my friends anymore, because I have to express my milk every three to four hours daily. Even when I do, I’m often too tired to enjoy the night out. A simple trip to the shops gets tiring when I have to bring along tons of my pumping equipment,” shares Bonny.

And even if you do venture out, your expeditions would most likely be limited to baby-friendly shopping centers with nursing rooms. Karen, 26, a mother of a eight-month-old baby, who even had to change her circle of friends as not everyone fou venues, such as nd “poo” comparisons and diaper brand debates stimulating.

Your life would now literally revolve around your child. Some mothers have found that they even have to cut back on their “me time” for manicures, facials and other little luxuries. “There’s no more sleeping in on weekends, and we no longer take any spontaneous holidays,” according to Karen.

However, it is important to set limits and put aside time for pampering yourself, or even just to get basic sleep and recreation. “The family should offer support, and encourage the new mother to take some personal time off,” advises doctor.

Reality Checking Your Marriage

And Baby does make three, permanently! Be careful riot to become indifferent towards your role as a wife as you pay more attention towards your new duties as a mother. “Asians often have newborns sleeping in the parents’ bed, sometimes even for years! As such, husbands begin to feel neglected,” warns by some doctor, who advises couples to discuss their changing roles and division of responsibilities.

On the other hand, for some mums like Karen, the baby can also create a stronger bond between the wife and husband. “We have more things to talk about, and more decisions to make together. Having a baby increased our sense of inter-dependence and brought us closer together.”

Carry baby in four ways! Newborns can be carried while they lie down as the stiff pouch provides all the necessary support. When baby is older and able to support her neck, carry her facing you or facing front. Toddlers can be carried on your back like a backpack. The side buckles are very secure as they require a (simple) two- step procedure to lock in place. The beige straps are made of a soft cotton material which are soft against the skin but expect them to dirty pretty fast. The biggest drawback is that the instructions are in Japanese so unless you know the language, you’ll be fumbling and making guesswork out of the illustrations.

Ergo Baby Carrier

A breeze to put on with minimal buckling and tugging at straps. Can be worn in front, back and hip position (baby sitting on your hips). A padded seat you secure around your waist supports the baby’s weight through the upper thigh rather than weighing down the spine. as baby is in a seated position. It takes a maximum weight of 18kg so it can accommodate the child from birth through toddler-hood. A sleeping hood keeps the child’s head from flopping about when in slumber.

Jeep 2-in-1 Baby Carrier

This well-padded carrier can take a baby from 3.5 to 11.5kg, in a forward or back- facing position. For infants, you need to make the crotch area shallower. This is done through a zip that comes in two settings. The front of the carrier has reflective strips making it extra safe when you are out at night. A nice touch is the ventilation flap. For more air circulation, unzip the flap and roll-up the portion covering baby’s tummy to reveal a breezy mesh cut-out.

Baby Bjorn Baby Carrier Air

This version of the wildly popular Baby Bjorn is made from a mesh material that dissipates heat and moisture better. You can’t go wrong buckling up as the left and right side of the buckles and latches are color coded (match red to red, blue to blue). A sliding buckle at the crotch area allows you to fit the carrier to baby’s height for a comfortable and safe ride. It takes a baby from 53cm to 90cm in height and 3.5kg to 11kg in weight. Carries baby in a forward and rear facing positions.

Combi Ninna Nanna Carrier

You can carry your newborn in a prone position, upright facing forward, upright facing back and on your back. You can also choose between placing baby’s arms within the armholes or letting them free when she’s older for more mobility. The fabric on this carrier is luxuriously soft, great for baby and you! It takes a while to figure out how to use it but once you’ve got it, it should be a breeze switching from one position to another. Comes in a see-through plastic carrying case so it’s easy to pack away. Maximum weight is 14.9kg.

Mother-care 4 Way Carrier

Made of super soft cotton, this one carries your baby in a forward or rear-facing position, on the back and in a nursing position. There is a removable head support for use with newborns and comes in a hip camouflage print. Additional features: a dribble bib, toy, pacifier holder and a storage pocket. The carrier uses buckles and velcro to fasten. The latter are a little noisy to undo, especially if baby is sleeping. The breathable fabric lining prevents parent and child from becoming too warm. Maximum weight is 12kg.

What’s haunting me is the latter part of the love-hate relationship I have with nursing: leaking breasts the size of watermelons; feeling like I belong on a meadow among the cows; constantly smelling of breast milk; horrible cotton pads stuffed into bras that look like something from Grandma’s underwear drawer; and being the only one who can feed the baby in the middle of the night.

With these memories comes shame. After all, shouldn’t I have moved beyond these mixed feelings? I want to give my third child the same start in life that the first two had — breastfed for six months — yet this time I want to really enjoy it.

If you are feeling this way during pregnancy or encountered difficulties feeding previously, it’s best to get help around 35 or 36 weeks, with enough time to plan before baby arrives. As long as we know a mother’s history, we can talk through her concerns and work out a plan.

For my next baby, I suggest one bottle of expressed milk daily once lactation is established (usually at six weeks). Allowing my family to help with feeding will give me a break. The key to having the baby taking swell to both breast and bottle is being consistent.

If you stop for a week, the baby is likely to revert to just the breast and you could miss your window of opportunity. Being a lactation consultant and midwife makes me a natural breastfeeding activist.

What if I choose not to breastfeed?

We want the mother to breastfeed, but if she is unable or doesn’t want to, then we will support her in her choice. Pony’s response is very much in line with the center’s ethos — support to all mothers, regardless of whether or not they breastfeed.

Still a few months from birth, I am already feeling more relaxed about breastfeeding. I know that however wonderful and beneficial nursing my child is, it’s not a barometer of how much I love him or her.

The first shocking realization comes when new mothers realize that they still look six months pregnant after being wheeled out of the delivery room! I remained quite plump for the first two months, and only started to regain my figure in the seventh month.

According to doctor research explains that the amount a mother loses immediately after delivery would depend on the weight of the baby (usually 3 to 3.2kg), placenta (1/7th of the baby’s weight) and amniotic fluid (1 to 1.54); on average, 7kg in all.

“How long she takes to lose all the weight from pregnancy will depend on how much she has gained. So, don’t put on too much weight; 10 to 12kg is just perfect,” says doctor, who recommends total breastfeeding, dieting and exercise after the first six weeks of birth as good ways to regain your svelte pre-birth figure.

Reality Checking Your Emotions

If you are a first-time mum, don’t be surprised if you feel “sad” when bringing your baby home. “Baby blues” is a common syndrome that affects 50 to 70 per cent of postnatal women.

“It usually lasts a few days, in which new mothers experience spells of irritability and gloominess, as well as episodes of crying. More commonly, this afflicts first-time mothers and those who previously had significant premenstrual fluctuations of mood associated with PMS. This is attributed to hormonal changes after delivery,” says doctor.

Some mother even found herself “weepy” during the first month. They worried constantly if their baby was drinking sufficiently or sleeping well, and also felt especially useless when they could not breastfeed their son directly.

Doctor explains that the hormonal changes, coupled with the need to cope with a newborn baby, problems with breastfeeding, and a change in lifestyle, can be very challenging to any new mother, especially if she does not have any support.

“The clash in ideas on how to bring up the baby, the husband going to work, a crying child, and simple issues such as whether to use the supplements that are encouraged by some confinement ladies and grandmothers – all add to the depression,” says doctor, who advises new mothers to read, attend antenatal classes, and seek support from breastfeeding advisers or other mothers from the same generation. However, she cautions that “nothing really prepares you for the real thing”.

“So cliché, you obviously read too many magazines!” scoffed my bemused hubby.

“Well, do you have any better suggestions then,  Mr Computer Nerd?” I challenged him haughtily.

“I’m glad you asked, because as a matter of fact, I do have some ideas that I would like to run by you,” said my husband rather enthusiastically.

The Fantasy Feeling.

I remember feeling a slight twinge of apprehension at this point, and knowing his fascination with anime, I guess I could more or less tell what was coming. What I didn’t know however, was just how elaborate Chris’s fantasy really was.

I suppose you could say that you can’t knock down an idea until you’ve completely heard it out. Trying my utmost to suppress my giggles, I listened to my husband’s plan to dress up as characters in one of his favorite animation series and re-enact a scene whereby I would be “saved” by his heroic character. Like a slick executive trying to pitch his idea, my husband told me his little plan to go somewhere deserted and outdoors to get it on. I must say, incredulous as I was at the sheer audacity of his suggestion, I did feel a slight tremor of excitement as it sounded forbidden, unconventional and pretty sexy and hot.

After much wheedling (yes, grown men do that too!), I finally decided to give it a try late on Saturday night. From what I can recall, I was trudging into a forested area wearing nothing but a strange, skimpy costume and mumbling to my husband, “Oh why can’t you just have that school teacher fantasy like all other guys?”

Finally, we managed to find a small clearing that we deemed secluded enough so that we would not be caught in the act. With my arms tied around the trunk of a nearby tree, we thus began to re-enact the scene whereby my husband’s superhero character would have to come rescue me.

I must say that I felt rather vulnerable standing there in a public space wearing close to nothing, and it was quite a turn on. My heart was pounding wildly against my chest and I began breathing heavily as my husband undid the piece of cloth binding my hands together. After he struggled with the rope for a while, things started getting hot and heavy. Knowing that we might get caught at any minute provided us with that adrenaline rush of excitement that we had never experienced before. Finally, when the deed was done, we quickly dressed and made our way to our car parked nearby, faces flushed with exhilaration and embarrassment.

The End…?

Thrilling as it was, my husband and I decided to limit our role-playing activities to the confines of our bedroom, as what we just did was dangerous, not to mention illegal. Nonetheless, that one time was enough to re-ignite the sparks in our feelings of passion towards one another and things have not been the same since then!

To minimize back pains, here are some simple things to do:

1. Cut down on your physical activities, especially those that stress the lower back and pelvis, like climbing stairs, walking long distances and standing for long periods.
2. Sleeping with your face up puts a lot of pressure on your back. Lying on your side with a pillow between your knees would reduce the pressure. If you are used to sleeping on your back, placing a pillow under your knees can cut the pressure by half.
3. Another small pillow under the lower back will also help.
4. Control your diet to avoid excessive weight gain, which will make the strain worse.
5. Strengthen your back muscles through exercise or yoga.

The seven yoga poses below are good for strengthening the lower back, and increasing lung capacity and elasticity for easy delivery. Do them once or twice a week if you are in your third to eighth month of pregnancy. Some Yoga instructor even advice that pregnancy female handles prenatal classes at Yoga. They describe the poses:

1. Breathing.

Sit cross-legged on the floor in a meditative pose. Keep the back straight and rest hands, palms facing up, on the knees. Close your eyes.

Place the right thumb over the right nostril to close it and inhale slowly through the left nostril. Close the left nostril with the ring finger on the right hand and release the thumb that was over the right nostril. Exhale through the right nostril. Then, inhale through the right nostril and close it with the right thumb. Open the left nostril and exhale through the left. This is one set. Do five sets.

The timing of the breathing is important. Maintain a ratio of 1:2. That means, if you are inhaling for five seconds, exhale for 10 seconds.

2. Cat Pose.

Get down on hands and knees, tucking toes in. Spread the knees and feet slightly and stretch out your toes. Exhale while pushing the lower back upwards and tucking the head down. Inhale with the head looking upwards and lower back pushed downwards. Do this five times.

3. Cat Pose Balancing.

In the same hands and knees position, raise your right hand and left leg, keeping them in a straight line with the back and shoulders. Repeat with the left hand and right leg. Do three sets.

4. Bridge Pose

Lie on your back and bend the knees. Place your feet as close as possible to your bottom, feet apart.

Slowly lift the hips and lower back up with the support of your hands – your thumb supporting your back, your fingers over your sides. Hold the pose for seven seconds then slowly return to the starting position. Do three sets.

5. Spinal Leg Raises

Lie on your back with feet together and knees bent. Rest arms, palms facing up, on the floor at shoulder level.

Slowly drop both knees to the right while turning your head to look to the left. Repeat on the opposite side. Do three sets.

6. Single Leg Raises.

Lie on your back with legs together and rest hands by the thighs, palms down. Bend the left leg till the left foot is beside the right knee. Slowly raise the right leg to about 30 degrees and hold for five seconds. Rise further to 60 degrees and hold for five seconds. Increase to 90 degrees and hold for five seconds. Return the leg slowly to starting position. Repeat with the left leg. Do three sets.

7. Tree Pose

While standing, slowly bend one knee and slide the foot of that leg up to rest on the front of the thigh of the other leg.

Maintaining balance, slowly raise both hands up and place the palms together above the head. Keep eyes focused on something in front of you to help in balancing. Hold the position for 15 seconds.

8. Modified Cobra Pose.

Stand with feet together, in front of a chair. Hold the back of the chair for support. Slowly raise your chin up and drop your head backwards. Bend your back backwards and hold for five to seven seconds, then return to the starting position. Do this three times.

Different Worlds

Despite vastly different interests, Chris and I do in fact share plenty of common passions, such as sport, art, traveling and a wicked sense of humor. We get along great and he always jokes about me being the ultimate tree huger, whilst I often tease him about fantasizing over the grotesquely large bosomed, endless ‘chopstick legged’ animated female characters. At times, my husband would jokingly suggest that I dress up like one of his sexy Japanese chic idols, but I promptly dismiss it as idle banter.

We had already been married for almost three years, and although still very much in love, I would be lying if I said that things in the bedroom were as passionate or fiery as on our honeymoon in Paris. Sex was starting to become a rather mundane affair, and we both knew the usual drill: Get home from work, have dinner, have a bath and get into bed…. In short, there was no more excitement. The feeling that we had to have each other right there and then was not really there anymore.

Because your three-month-old will probably drink every drop of milk she gets, and your one-year-old will most likely gulp down one bowl of cereal after the other without the slightest prompting. The tendency to put on weight is partly an inherited characteristic. Some babies put on more weight than others even though they eat approximately the same amount.

In many instances, obesity is simply due to over-feeding. Research also shows that adults who are fat were more likely to have been fat as babies, when compared to adults who are thin. And the habit of over-eating, which starts during babyhood, can be hard to break later on.

Happy and Healthy But Not Fat

The first step, especially in the first year, is to have a rough idea of the typical food intake for someone her age and size.

You will be able to get advice from your local baby clinic. Of course there are wide variations between babies in terms of weight and food intake, but you should have a guideline regarding her recommended intake of mills (and of solids when she has started weaning).

Weigh her regularly. Your doctor will do this anyway. Doctors know the upper and lower limits of weight gain during each stage of development, and will give you the necessary feedback.

Some adults think that a fat, chubby baby is very pretty. But she is no prettier than a slimmer baby and she is certainly no healthier. In fact, doctors can list a whole series of health problems that are associated with obesity. Your baby doesn’t need to be over-fed in order to look attractive.